I am FOUR DOZEN: intentions and reflections

 What a fun birthday!!

My last dog walk as a 47-year-old

I made myself the most ridiculous Snickers cheesecake and ate it for breakfast

Sunglasses from the children (to replace one that one of them borrowed and accidentally ran over)

Ben and I had lunch together and went shopping in the cutest little town

I had a fun afternoon collecting bday freebies and discounts

And we ended the night with a toast

Yay 48! I am looking at four dozen roses as I write this and thinking about some intentions for this year. I just read Big Time, and you absolutely should, too, because it made me feel optimistic about the amount of time I have to spend and excited about all the ways I could spend it.

Some things I want to do this year:

1. Say YES more often, especially when the thing sounds a little scary. (Look for me in a crowded Chicago elevator and on a dinner cruise with a bunch of teen/tween girls next month, for example)

2. Practice radical kindness-- like as a default frame. (Spoiler: this is not my current default frame in any area). How nice would it be to take care of myself from this frame? (Like in a Foucauldian sense of rhetoric that cares for the self, not, like, a lot of bubble baths). Seriously, though. Think about running and lifting weights and eating foods to fuel your body from a place of radical kindness to yourself-- how great is that frame? And then when you apply it to interactions with others? I mean.

3. Run by 7:30 most* mornings. I feel better when I exercise at the start of the day even at the expense of resting, so I want to spend this whole year prioritizing that feeling. What is "most" though? NOT SURE. I am also really into the don't-break-the-chain mentality and am afraid that if I have a few late mornings, I will abandon the whole project. One thing I have going for me is that I HATE to be hot, so early mornings are going to be my best bet this summer, and in the fall/winter, I will basically have no choice.

4. Notice when I catch myself complaining and figure out how to make the situation better. While time is plentiful, it is also precious, and I want to spend this year developing a problem solving framework as opposed to more of an bitch-and-moan framework. I really hate our current job situation with Ben in an entirely different state most of the week.  As we seek solutions, I can't just write off these years or lose them to a litany of complaints. So, I am going to notice what bothers me and fix it, in a very Rosie the Riveter, yes-I-can sort of way,.

Highlights from 47:

Discovered these most amazing eye patches that have transformed my life for the better

Saw fam in Madison

Celebrated a preschool grad

Went to Charleston with Dorothy

Lots of pool days

Grew out those fucking bangs

Sent Minnie off to kindergarten!!

Marigold Fest!

Fam pics!

Coffee Fridays with Dorothy and Cooper

Bradley Homecoming

One more visit to my mom's office before she retired

Ran our first 5K

Successfully repped our favorite side dishes

 Ran another 5K

Rang in 2026 on our favorite beach

Volunteered every week in kindergarten

Saw lots of dive meets

Jack's senior prom!

Mother's Day

 Ben and Cooper were in Florida for a quick trip for Cooper to compete in the USA Diving Junior World Trials in platform diving. The top 20 kids in the country were invited to compete, and the top 2 get to go to Worlds. Cooper finished 15th (and the top 12 made finals, so he was  coulda woulda shoulda-ing himself like crazy), and we are SO PROUD of him. He is 14 year old competing in the 14-15 age group for the second year (terrible dive birthday!), and he is SOCLOSE to just being consistently amazing. What's frustrating for him right now is that he has hit all of his dives in competition for 8's at some point this season--but never all of them in the same competition. We have been really committed to traveling a lot for dive this year because we think the more reps he has in high stakes comps in front of judges, the more likely he is going to be to find that consistency. It's just so fun to watch him, and he loves the circuit ad has made great friends all over the country-- it's pretty amazing.

Harry came home for CPR certification in advance of another summer managing the pool, and he brought a ton of stuff home with him, which is great because once again his deadbeat parents are not available for move-out weekend, and he's going to have to bring his entire life home in a Kia sedan. Also shout out to Harry for being so capable. It was also great to have him home for Mother's Day. He is used to drinking an iced mocha every day from Kwik Trip but does not want to spend $5 a coffee all summer when is is likely going to be paying for parking downtown quite a bit. Luckily for him, I have an awesome and EASY EASY EASY cold brew coffee maker, so he can use chocolate milk, Swiss Miss coco packets, cold brew, and caramel creamer to get the same effect at home for free!

Jack and I did some not-planned twinning

We all went out for breakfast and came home to watch Cooper dive on TV-- always fun!

I got an awesome weed puller tool and spent an hour doing just one teeny little patch of lawn-- SO SATISFYING

Minnie and some neighborhood kids chalked the sidewalk for Mother's Day, and she read books on the porch after some serious scootering

We ended the day at Bar Taco and did a little shopping for dresses for Dorothy to wear to Jack's graduation-- the Macy's fitting rooms still have ash trays LOL FOR DAYS CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE smoking while you try on clothes.

Ben and Cooper comae home late after everyone else was in bed, and I had hoped to make a candle from my new candle-making kit, but I was TIRED and hot wax seems to demand more focus than I was able to give it.

Such a lovely, low key day.

How we survived the semester

 The biggest changes I made to our daily life this semester revolved around the two most important categories: food and rest.

We instituted a Lazy Genius-style food plan for weeknights that made almost everything feel manageable. We decided ONCE for the WHOLE semester that Tuesday we would grab Culvers on the way home from dance; that Wednesday, I would swing by Milios and snag subs for Dorothy and Cooper to eat for their after school snacks on the way to dance and dive; and that Wednesdays Minnie would eat chocolate chip pancakes, eggs, and fruit for dinner. Every single Wednesday night. Sometimes Jack joined her (and also joined in on Culvers), but sometimes, he was busy with his own life, and that was OK, too. I never indulged in the Tuesday Culvers, but I was more than happy to walk the dog while the kids ate and come home to a barely touched kitchen and a bowl of protein oatmeal that I ate in relative quiet before putting Minnie to bed. Sometimes, I did join in on breakfast for dinner, and sometimes I ate leftovers or bagged salads instead. It didn't bother me to make something else for myself when feeding my people was on autopilot. We also followed LG advice to have the easiest, most crowd-pleasing dinner on the hardest night of the week (Tuesday). And! If Thursday ever felt hard, I had no problem grabbing a pizza on the way home from the after-school drop off run, and Ben was never sad to come hone to those leftovers, either. (Usually I would make something easy with great leftovers on Thursdays, so Ben could eat something when he got home and so we would have food for Friday lunches).

Fast food for the win!

I also started making it a habit to rest BEFORE my work was done. Sometimes this looked like waking up early to drink coffee and read 50 pages of a book before anyone was around to bother me. Sometimes, it looked like reading on the couch for an indulgent hour while I put my work (housework sometimes or work work others) aside, knowing it was going to be there for me when my alarm went off. Sometimes, it looked like a walk around the lake on campus while I mulled over an issue and found that I was ready to solve it when I got back to my office. Resting and taking intentional breaks (not scrolling mindlessly because I didn't want to admit to myself that I was actually taking a break) made parenting 4 kids and working a full time job while my partner spent part of every single week out of town feel doable. Not just doable-- enjoyable, even.

That's it. Stop cooking and start loafing-- a recipe for success. (And also some weight gain, but what are you gonna do?)

Beginning of the semester:

End of the semester:

I am a bit overwhelmed at the looming summer break. So many people in my house with so many schedules to juggle! And by all of the prep work that needs to magically happen between now and the fall. But! I already know that I am going to lean all the way into pool dinners, zero morning alarms, and lots of afternoon naps with a book. 

Also, big things on the horizon, like THIS!!!!!  Jack and I are so excited

5 on a Friday: Dance mom things

 Can you even believe that the regional dance season is behind us? All Dorothy has left is a recital (Minnie too!!) and a week-long trip to Navy Pier in Chicago for nationals at the end of June. A few dance mom things:

1. Everything is better when Dorothy does her own makeup. All I am here for anymore is false eyelash assistance and the some hair help and to tell her she is beautiful.

Thank goodness I signed Minnie up for team auditions this summer because I need to be needed again.

SHE EVEN DOES HER OWN QUICK CHANGE PONYTAIL

I DO still have to help bobby pin her bandana and attach it to her hat ad then PIN HER HAT TO HER HEAD via a hair ball we are supposed to make at the very top of her head. So there's that. (Also this is easy to do if it's the first dance of the day but brutal for a quick change. At one of the competitions this year when the kids only had 2 dances to change costumes and hair, 3 girls lost their hats mid-dance and as the dance captain (a mom who is in charge of any props and of making sure everyone is dressed according to the styling directions and gathering all the kids at the call time) for that dance, I knew it was all my fault.

2. We are going to have to buy a new dance bag because Dorothy's is ripping. It has had 3 hard years, so I guess it's been a good purchase. I might also get a Hulken bag for peripherals and times when I do not want to be lugging the whole huge bag. I have been saying for years that I want to upgrade her garment bags, too, but so far I just keep using the ones the studio sends us home with.

But! This bag has lived a long life, and we have appreciated her.

3.  Dorothy has fun the entire time we are a competition, rom the stage to the dressing room, to the hallways.

Last weekend was her last regional of the season, and we even had fun as a family

4. My favorite dance mom friend moved to another studio, and I haven't found someone I enjoy snarking with in the same way, but! Dane weekends are also really fun for me because it's lovely to spend time with people we have known for years at this point who are all in the same weird boat.

Just imagine Minnie on the mini team next year and all the new friends we'll both meet!

5. Every season, I get so used to the dances and costumes that is heard to imagine what the next year will look like. Dorothy is not trying out for tap this summer (so she says right now...), and I will miss it-- but this is her least favorite costume because it is so tight

My favorite costume is lyrical-- it's just so pretty

Dorothy likes all her hip hop costumes the best because they are so comfy

Next up: recital, followed by nationals in Chicago :)