So far, so good. Did I mention my push present was a coffee pot? It's the only thing keeping me upright.**

** Actually not upright. Reclining with the computer on my Boppy.

Oh my god. Will I sound totally and completely naive if I say that 2 under 2 is really hard? I know, you're like, duh, and so am I, really, but oh my god.

I thought it was going to be totally smooth sailing based on last week-- when Jack only slept, ate, peed, and pooped. This week, he spends more and more time like this:

In Secret Agent mode. Silently judging. On a totally unrelated note, how cute are those Trumpette shoe socks? I forgot how adorable they were until today when I happened upon them in Harry's sock drawer.

Also, Jack has started doing that thing where he will only sleep on my chest at night. This time, we were prepared for co-sleeping; we know how to do it as safely as possible, according to the AAP, and we do not believe all those naysayers who tell us that the kid will be in our bed forever because Harry is 22 months and has been sleeping all by himself for the past 10. For the past 2-ish months, he's been in his big boy bed, even. So all you haters can back off (and I mean this in the nicest possible way).

Despite the co-sleeping (which we tried to avoid at all costs with Harry and spent most of his early days so stupid with sleep deprivation that we could barely appreciate his adorableness), we are tired because it sure does suck to wake up every 3 hours, especially since that seems to be the exact moment when I enter REM sleep. Oh! But I have been watching the best crap TV-- Platinum Weddings, Bridezillas, Deliver Me, John and Kate Plus 8, Sex and the City-- all of this and more trashy delights are available On Demand, thank god-- made with the nursing mother in mind.

Oh! I judged a speech tournament this weekend, and I wore my skinny jeans!!!!!! Ha!! 10 days post partum! I was beyond thrilled, even though I had an apron of extra tummy flab that I kind of had to tuck in a little (luckily baby doll shirts are cool right now).

What else?
Jack hates his bath




But, he no longer smells like trash. The doctor agreed that the smell was gross. He at first said everything looked great, and I was all, "Really? What would it look like if it weren't?" as I threw up in my mouth a little. He pulled the stump back and dumped alcohol into it, and it was all green and gushy underneath. I said "Oh my god," with a genuine gasp of horror, and the doctor laughed at me (without even trying to hide his amusement even a little). Then he cauterized it to dry it out, which left the stump black and hanging by a gooey green cord. I said, "Oh. Neat. Is that going to, like, come off soon?" That's when he took pity on me and removed it on the spot. So Jack is officially his own man. With a squeeky giraffe.

Also his own man? Harry, who was hard at work building a sail butt (sail boat).

He's also totally into golf. Soooo preppy, huh?

Oh yeah. It SNOWED yesterday.

Harry coloring next to a pile of rags.

Oh wait! That pile of rags is my baby doing tummy time, which knocks him right out.

Gaucho pants alert!! Avert your eyes.

Jack liked Harry's bath just fine Also, poor Ben because the moment he gets home, I am all, "Take the baby-- I need 2 hands," which means HE never gets 2 hands, but is getting really good at doing things 1 handed. Last night, I used my 2 hand time to sign Harry up for summer classes-- we're doing swim, a music class, and a cooking class.

This is a funny picture because Harry is actually saying cheese

Very responsibly, I left Jack swaddled in the middle of the bed and went down for breakfast. When I returned, he was wearing his Swaddle Me like a cape. Sadly, no evident super powers as of yet.


Ben went back to work this week, and I have to grade some stuff for school. Luckily, Jamie is coming today, so maybe I can take a nap in the late afternoon. Otherwise, we really are trying to enjoy ourselves (even though we spent a really unenjoyable hour last night trying to put Jack's swing together and almost killed each other-- not out of anger, just because the swing kept malfunctioning and almost hitting us when it sprang apart) because we are 99.99999% sure that Jack is baby number last.

Natural childbirth really sucked, and I never want to do it again. Recovery, though, has been so smooth, quick, and painless that I never want an epidural again, either. I mean, I took a shower minutes after his birth, went to the bathroom all by myself like a big girl, and WALKED from the birth suite to the family care suite (carrying my own baby, might I add). It's hard to beat that, you know?

So, this kid is it, and we're both taking time to smell the roses-- and by roses, we mean the back of his sweet, squooshy little neck and the top of his soft, fuzzy little head.

Have You Ever Googled "Foul Smelling Umbilical Stump"? Yeah. Don't. Especially If Your Baby's Belly Smells Like Trash

Seriously, Jack's belly-button-to-be smells like garbage. More specifically, like garbage in the summer. We called the doctor and we have an appointment for tomorrow morning, because we need reassurance. He thinks it's probably fine because there's no redness or oozing, but still, he says it's not supposed to smell and will be happy to look at it if we want him to. Of course we do. We brought Harry to the doctor so many times when he was little, it's a wonder he didn't get sick just from the waiting room (because he wasn't sick when we brought him in-- not once). I thought it would be different this time around, but so far, same neuroses.

Here's a bunch of pictures. You'll notice there aren't any of me because I look like crap. I am wearing gacuho pants for god's sake-- like it's 2005 or something. And no matter what kind of a shirt I wear, my nursing bra always shows. But today really takes the cake. I am in pajamas-- ridiculous pajamas. I started the night in a lovely floral nursing gown (not really lovely)-- at the 1:30 feeding, I was cold and added a pink velour hoodie. At 4:30, I added clashing floral pajama pants, and I topped it all off with a ponytail and socks at 6:30 when we finally got up for the day. Isn't she lovely? And we are having a photographer come over to do pictures in like 2 weeks, so I really need to get it together and also find something that will stretch around my poor hips.

I am also having some nap anxiety, just like when Harry was little. It is not possible for me to sleep when the baby sleeps-- or in this case when both babies sleep. I feel wayyyyyyy too pressured. I want to sleep on my own time, know what I mean? Luckily, Ben's office got me a massage gift certificate (along with a really cute outfit and toy for the baby-- how nice is that) because I need to relax. Also, I am still walking with a limp on the left side, which my OB assures me is normal, since I had some back/leg issues the last month of my pregnancy, and I may have hurt myself pushing (MAY HAVE? Jesus Christ). So, yeah. All kinds of pretty over here.

Okay, the pictures, I promise.


This is Jack in Secret Agent mode-- he just stares and stares and looks like he's judging us.

Busting out of the swaddle

In case you were wondering, this is a house according to Harry

Look here we are leaving the house with both kids.


In honor of Earth Day, Harry and Ben planted some teeny trees.




Cooling off after his strenuous gardening.

After testing our luck with a trip to Target (Jack and Ben stayed in the car), we went to a cute little toddler park. Clearly it was enjoyed by all.



I am really into Harry's fat hands in these pictures. Our pediatrician said to let Harry handle the baby and to try not to be freaky about it. He said unless Harry body slammed Jack or attacked him with a weapon (like say a full sippy cup-- oops), we had nothing to worry about, and we shouldn't make Harry feel nervous around the baby. So, we've been giving it a shot. Ben is still a little gaspy, but I am working on being the calm one (ha!).





Jack having a wicked fun time. The most exciting thing about his day? A new hat. Also pooping. Maybe even in that picture. We went to another park--because we are clearly out of ideas for Harry fun, since we can't take Jack anywhere really.

And this thing is why I will never be able to come to this park alone with both Harry and Jack. Broken neck waiting to happen, huh?



Harry did a little swinging

Jack moved to a new bench-- wicked fun

Jacked Up

Harry likes being a big brother, mainly because he is enjoying less, er, supervision than he used to receive.

He also likes being a big brother because he gets to hang out with his grandma. Right now, for instance, he is out swimming and having ice cream.

Doesn't he totally look like Lord Voldemort's half man half snake form from the 3rd Harry Potter movie? God damn I'm a dork. Also, Jack has a really strong neck-- Harry had a floppy neck, but really strong legs. Jack's legs? Not so strong.

Aaaah, the hospital. Mainly all we did was lounge around and wait for doctors and nurses to come prod us. I think I have mentioned that I have a bit of a crush on Harry's doctor, who is now Jack's doctor. I was fairly embarrassed when he came in at 6:30 on Thursday morning (w/o knocking-- well, he knocked AS he was entering) and woke us up. I was all sleeping curled up round the baby in my super awesome hospital issue nursing gown. Ben was all disheveled on his vinyl bed. We couldn't even summon the presence of mind to ask any questions. Then I got up, showered, did my hair and make up and looked surprisingly okay before my OB stopped by. He had on scrubs and had a Bluetooth in his ear-- ya think he takes calls during births? I actually think he might. Anyway, I thought I'd shower before the pediatrician showed up on Friday, and I did, but he came into the room as I was getting dressed, and there I stood shirtless, sporting my brand new giant nursing sports bra. Awesome. But actually? Those were both less embarrassing than when the resident who delivered Jack stopped by to say hi. (She was not the mean doc, by the way.) Seriously, I never wanted to see any of those people again-- I am totally embarrassed by the things I was screaming. Picture 40 Year Old Virgin when Steve Carrell gets is chest hair waxed. And then, in between contractions, I would apologize. Then another contraction would hit, and I would start shouting ridiculous obscenities. It is hard to smile and make small talk with the woman who had to don a plastic face mask so she wouldn't get hit by the tidal wave of your amniotic fluid, ya know? Especially when she is all tidy in her white coat and kitten heels, and you are clad, once again, in a saggy hospital nursing gown.






Anyway, it's a good thing we pulled it together because little Jacky had lots of visitors. Like his big brother who loves him in a "I want to pet the rabbits" sort of way (and whom I apparently missed so bad I started to eat, ears first), and all of this grandparents. Lucky Jacky.







We were all a little worried about this, but it turned out great.


Can you believe they actually let us take him home??


He's really awesome-- he pees out the back of his diaper, and he poops with such explosive force that he wakes me (and himself) up. Last night, he was wide awake from midnight until 3 am. He didn't want to eat or anything-- he just started at me and got all pissed when I fell asleep. He wanted me to stare back at him. Cool. I think the books call that bonding. Also, if he doesn't wake up soon and eat from the right side, I might explode.