Apparently, this baby wants us to pay a million dollars for an extra year of fancy schmancy preschool

Because if he wants to start kindergarten when he is 5, he needs to make an appearance by tomorrow at the latest. And judging by the fact that I have nothing going on labor wise, I feel like he is going to miss the cut off. Damn it.

I reached my own toes yesterday and was so excited at the feat (ha! feats! feet!) I did a DIY pedicure that turned out awesomely.

You know what being pregnant an extra 10+ days than usual gets you? FUCKING STRETCH MARKS. I am so pissed. It looks like a tiger might have scratched my back and hips and yesterday? Fuck it all, there was a scratch on my stomach. SO now I will never wear a 2-piece swimming suit again? Really? I have always had a couple small marks on my hips from fat college days, but they have always been hidden by my bikini bottoms. Now there's nowhere to hide, and I am so MAD.I bought some Bio Oil at target yesterday, so maybe that will help?

I had a babysitter yesterday while Ben taught a late class (he has about 5 weeks this semester where he leaves in the afternoon and doesn't come back until like 2 days later (except after the kids have gone to bed). Sucks. Anyway, while the babysitter was here, I went to Target and just walked around throwing random crap in my cart. Like stretch mark oil and DIY pedicure supplies. So glam.

I need to get H's first day of school clothes ready(Pirate polo from Gap Kids, gray shorts from Gap Kids, Sketchers Secret Lights shoes that he has been DYING to wear for weeks) and make his requested after-school snack on the off chance I miraculously go into labor and can't be home tomorrow, which would be terrible because it would traumatize him and would be wonderful because then would get to meet this baby who is grinding the hell out of my bladder. Oh. Also need to pack a school lunch and cross my fingers that he figures out how to buy milk in the cafeteria.

All I want to do is eat stuff and buy stuff, but today, I think I am too cranky and tired to go anywhere, so unless I online shop my fingers off, it looks like an eating day. When the babysitter comes over to handle dinner and outside playtime and bath, I hope to take a nap. Or maybe actually just go to bed. At like 4:30.

Did I mention also that I have horrible seasonal allergies right now? Made worse, no doubt, by the fact that outside my living room window is a huge field of WEEDS. As if the weight gain and the stretch marks (I am seriously enraged about the stretch marks-- I might as well have another baby now because my bounce-back chances are severely diminished) and the Shrek feet weren't enough, my nose is red, and my eyes are swollen into little slits.

See? I am a TREAT to be around today, huh? My kids are SO LUCKY to have me home with them.