Online shopping forever

Dorothy discovered her undying love for Justice this week, God help us all, and I reaffirmed my already pretty damn steady commitment to online shopping.

See, the kids are invited to their first wedding this weekend (and, I mean, we are invited, too, duh), but none of them had a wedding appropriate outfit.  Some of them were close.  Dorothy has a million frilly dresses.  Harry actually had khakis and a for-real Polo that fit him.  Cooper had a million button-down shirts to choose from.  But!  Jack had NOTHING.  Harry really really really needed a belt so he could tuck in his damn shirt.  Cooper needed pants (like, real pants!) and shoes (oh god is he hard to buy shoes for.  Dorothy needed shoes and probably a head band.

So, after swim lessons, we set out to find all of those things, plus Addidas slides for Ben and Jack who needed them for Hilton Head.

We shopped from 10:30-3:30.  THAT'S A FULL DAMN DAY.

We started with a Culvers early lunch to ward off the crabbies and then shopped the whole mall: Dicks, Gap Kids, regular Gap, American Eagle, H&M, Boston Store (going out of business sale), JC Penney, Sears (going out of business sale), Justice, Payless,  Aldo, Vans, Journeys, The Buckle, Gymboree, Auntie Anns.  Then Target.  And Nordstrom Rack.  And also Old Navy.  Then back to Target.  IT WAS BRUTAL.  There was so much running in and not buying and then going back and actually buying.

While the kids got post-shopping haircuts and Dorothy ate a million dum-dums that she kept dropping all over the floor and sucking strangers' hair off of, I ordered the slides with my Zappos app in 90 seconds.  And they'll be here TOMORROW.  And?  THEY WERE CHEAPER ONLINE THAN AT THE MALL.

Bah humbug.  Robots, come and take my job.  I am sure you will do it better than I ever could.