October Gratitude/Things I Want to Leave in October

October Gratitude

• Hot hot hot coffee
• A cuddly dog who got a bath and smells pretty not bad
• An a-ok diagnostic mammogram and breast ultrasounds
• Excellent car insurance so I didn't even have to worry about getting hit by a car (in my minivan) on the way to my followup mammogram
• Kids who still want to play with the toys in the library kiddie room
• 4 kids who still want to dress up for Halloween
• Time-- just so much time to think and write and take care of the house and work with students and run kids here and there and back to here.  I love how I spend my time, almost always
• Halloween, Halloween, Halloween.  All of my kids dressed up.  We opened our house to friends and family.  I got to eat my favorite pizza.  IT WAS MAGICAL. (Also, kindergarten room mom duties.  I love my life).

What I Want to Leave in October

2 big things:

1.  I have wretched PMS-- I always have.  And I know that I can't just decide I am not going to have it anymore because OH MY GOSH I would have done that years ago.  But I think I can be more strategic about how I cope.  it is really hard in the moment for me to decide to let things go, so even though I am an angry overly emotional idiot, I try to do all of the things I would have normally done.  I am going to try to make a plan BEFORE my hormones go haywire about what is looming on my plate and what I can reasonably not do.  Work?  Yes, need to do it.  Housework?  I think I do, but maybe I would be taking better care of myself and my family if I left the bookshelves dusty and curled up on the couch with a book and a scented candle. Plan with friends? Sometime PMS feels a lot like anxiety and that feels a lot like anger.  So if I don't want to keep a social commitment, then I just shouldn't.  It's not worth yelling at my family before I go, and I'd rather be a flake than a hulk.  You know? Playdates? This one is trickier.  On the one hand, having more kids is usually better.  On the other hand, it's hard for me to get past the idea that the house needs to look a certain way or I need to look a certain way for a playdate to happen.  And I know that that's stupid.  But!  It also might be something to tackle another month.  Sometimes I am so sad and emo with PMS that just organizing my thoughts to text another mom about playdate logistics feels overwhelming, but I think I need to make an effort to make these plans happen.  (Which?  I already do, but I always think I should just cancel.  Maybe what I should cancel is the angst).

2.  Being too hands-off with Harry's school work.  This is how it goes: We ask Harry how school is going, take his word for it, and ignore the whole thing until a teacher sends an email reminding parents to check their kids' grade-books for missing work and then all hell breaks loose.  I HATE looking at the online grade book for two very valid reasons.  First of all, I do not want to be the kind of mom who is still doing this when Harry is in college. I think you become that kind of mom by starting to be responsible for your kid's grade book in middle school.  Second, it makes my stomach hurt to see something labeled missing, so I would rather just bury my head in the sand.  But! Being responsible for their own work is not something every kid can just automatically do.  As a parent, it;s my job to teach him HOW to do the hard stuff. So, we are going to try checking into his Google classrooms (that parents are weirdly supposed to be familiar with an also are not authorized to access-- WHAT THE HECK, MAN?) and online grade book with him twice a week.  Hopefully, before he goes to high school, this habit will be so well-formed that we can step away.  Cross your fingers for us.