I stopped logging into My Fitness Pal and embraced intuitive eating this summer, although I started thinking deeply about the concept way back in March of this year. In March of this year, though, I had lots of baby and holiday 2020 weight to lose, so I tracked the heck out my calories for a few months and got to a healthier weight for my body. Then, I decided to stop obsessing and just eat what made me feel good in the quantities that made me feel good.
And, surprisingly, it's been going... pretty well.
Since Halloween, though, I have been feeling heavier, my clothes a bit tighter. I have also been sliding into old eating habits that just don't serve me as well. And then almost before I knew it, I was posting on Instagram that I hated to wear sweaters, and it was all a bit... I don't know-- derivative.
Like here I am not satisfied with my weight and talking shit about my body while also gulping down raw cookie dough like I am dying of thirst in the middle of the desert and WHAT A SNOOZE ALREADY WHY CAN'T I GET IT TOGETHER?
I need to drink more water. Eater fewer snacks. Exercise more, blah blah blah. BUT WILL I?
And for real though. Sweaters make me feel gross.
So, like, I want to eat the things that sound delicious, but I also want healthier foods to sound delicious-er than crap. How many times do I have to overindulge on garbage and then feel like garbage before I stop doing that and know that healthier foods will make me feel better even if I might miss the taste of trash? Apparently very many times.
I’m so interested in intuitive eating, but I feel like for me to be successful I’d somehow have to address my feelings around deprivation first. It’s a lot of telling myself “I am CHOOSING…” It helps a bit.
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