Adulting and such

On Saturday, I made a cake for dessert, and I put it on the top rack of the oven where it outgrew its bundt and started to rise around the oven coils. So I moved it to the bottom shelf where some of it fell onto the oven floor and turned into charred lumps and made the house smell terrible.

The cake was delicious, and I forgot about the oven.

On Sunday, Ben roasted broccoli, and the old cake caught fire in the bottom of the oven, and the house filled with smoke. We had to open all the windows, but even that didn't help. Ben also grilled burgers and some spicy turkey sausages which he and I were planning to eat for lunch this week. Midway through our smoky dinner, our next door neighbor called to say our GRILL WAS ON FIRE, which explains so much about why the open windows didn't help our smoke problem.

I need to remember to buy more baking soda on my way home. It's great at dousing grill fires, but it's essential for making cookies.

So, how was your weekend?

Rhythms

 Oh those last few minutes before the kids come home from school-- they feel so short! Especially today when I spent all of my time-- EVEN NAP TIME --answering first-week-of-class emails, grading for the overload class I am teaching, and trying to rescue the house from its Thursday House-ness (on a Friday).

I am determined to settle into this semester THIS FREAKING MONTH (which I understand is almost over) because usually it takes me months to fall into new rhythms, and I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THAT nonsense.

I am struggling a little bit with mornings because I cannot use morning nap for chores. I need to use that time as productively as humanly possible. SO that means I need to have the house tidied and myself dressed, etc BEFORE she goes down. This, in turn, means I need to get up early and make sure my workout at least is crossed off my list. I did that every morning but this one (Minnie woke up TWICE last night, and I cannot even), meaning I had to exercise during morning nap and then everything felt rushed.

Add in a library run, 2 kids to pick up, a pharmacy run, a Target pick up, dinner to order from 2 different places, and also hockey and tennis tonight, and GAH. And this is a LIGHT DAY when Ben is also working from home and we can help each other out LOL LOL LOL LOL.

First day of school LEWK

She loves trying on my glasses

Tiny pig-tailed artist

No, she's not watching TV. Why would you even think that?

I just think she's so cute when she eats.

A problem I have is thinking that every weekday has to look like all of the weekdays that will follow. So if someone wants to lighten my load on a Monday, for example, my first instinct is to refuse because I won't have help every Monday. This is dumb, and I get that, but it's also a hard habit to change. I am trying to set goals for each day and then meet them the most efficient way possible for that given day and the given set of circumstances I am facing, if that makes any sense. I have a few things that I always need to do every single day, but I am trying to be flexible outside those things. Just because Ben can drive Harry on this Thursday, for example doesn't mean I have to plan every single Thursday with ben driving Harry and me doing the evening pick ups solo. This seems like a no-brainer, but it has been a really hard thing for me to learn.

Any genius tips for getting all your stuff done every day? For getting your mornings done in a calm, efficient, and loving way? Once I am in the car with Minnie and Jack to grab coffee, drop Jack off, and head home to work and nap Minnie, my days are bright AF. But getting the other 3 kids out the door and everyone sorted out for breakfast, their rooms mucked out, etc, is a stressful slog. I am open to any suggestions/would love to hear your morning rhythms.

Assorted Complaints

•  I hate dealing with my FSA account and uploading receipts for medical bills. It's my money already that the FSA is managing-- it should not be that difficult
• Bringing the kids home for lunch is a huge pain in the butt, especially when it's just me home and I have to bundle Minnie up and take her with me. HUGE PAIN.
• My classroom is not in my building, and walking there is very hard in the freezing cold. Who wants to lecture to 200 people with HAT HEAD? NOT ME. And yet.
• Driving to kiddie activities is something I have not missed during the pandemic. GAH.
• Dorothy and Cooper have gone through almost a dozen KN95 masks in the 3 days they have been back to school. I cannot afford this trend.
• I am on birth control, and it makes me feel wonderful but also I cannot lose any weight and YUCK.
• Bangs are a terrible decision I am still paying for.
• Omicron is still peaking here, and I really need a pedicure.
• Minnie is sleeping poorly, and it is making me stabby.
• This book was great and I totally get the metaphor/satire. but it made me feel so sad, and I cannot shake it.

I think that covers it.

Something wonderful to offset all that complaining:

The Full Toddler

 SHE'S A TODDLER, you guys. Like, all the way. She'll be using the toilet before we know it.

She included her own self in donut Saturday:

She heard Ben talking about going outside to blow snow and she was at the garage door immediately, boots and hat in hand:

She kept trying to run down the street to steal the neighbor's shovel:

Then we gave her a shovel of her own, and she was so industrious

ALSO SO COOL

I mean. PEAK TODDLER:

Oh! AND! This blog's OG toddler GOT HIS BRACES OFF:

Minnie worked hard today

She went on quite the cleaning binge, even climbing up on her little chair to dust her blinds.

As you can see, she napped well.

(So did Beatrix).

She's so cool, you guys.

 

Back to work!

 I went to WORK on CAMPUS today! I am not going to lie to you, I was super nervous. But! If it's not safe to sit in a room of people wearing N95 masks, then we are all so, so, so screwed. But still. Very people-y. Speaking of people-y! I teach a huge lecture class twice a week starting next week, so...

I actually really liked getting dressed, leaving the house, getting coffee, walking downtown, etc.

The little kids are almost done with virtual school. It feels like we made it to the end of a marathon, but, like, there are zombies at the finish line, so we kind of want to keep running. Except, you know, it's a marathon, so we are exhausted.

Harry had this week off school (finals week, but you only have to go to finals if you are getting a D or an F in class, and Harry has amazing grades and we are so proud of him); Dorothy and Cooper are home still, and Jack had a 3-day week. So, he has been the only person venturing out of the house. Except for me this morning and Ben on Friday. 

Next week, though, the little kids are Back! At! School! across the street; Harry and Jack have normal 5-day weeks, and Ben and I are doing the 2/3 days at the office shuffle again. PRAY FOR US (no, but like for real).

And now for 2 shots of Minnie making her Grumpy Monkey face:

And a hilarious mask that came in my monthly mask box:

Links, etc

 I love what a patient builder Minnie is:

Also she is packing a lunchbox Bunny by Bunny, and it's pretty cute.

Let's not even think about the COVID-y nature of the kids being back in school. Let's just think about the LOGISTICS which are a lot.

I have been developing a pretty satisfying routine by getting up early to exercise and putting Minnie down for a nap in her crib so I can get a little work done. Literally finding more hours in the day. But all of this is about to change when Ben starts working from the office 2 or 3 days a week and I work the other days from my office. This is not a one-parent juggle, is what I am telling you. So, even as I settle into new rhythms, I know they are only temporary, and that makes me jumpy.

I am reading a book that promises to help because everything seems difficult.

And part of this is pandemic fatigue, I know. I think sending all of the kids back to school will be so great in some ways-- easier to get work done with just a baby at home for one thing. But! It's just so goddamn stressful. Your Local Epidemiologist summed my thoughts up perfectly. It's hard to engage in denominator thinking when your kid is in the numerator.

I did not hate this Emily Oster post, either.

But my favorite pandemic post-- and a surprisingly clarifying one as well-- is this, the funniest thing I have ever read on McSweeney's-- which is saying a lot.

Pretty Minnie

Minnie LOVES her new dresses and felt so pretty all day long.

HAVE WE TALKED ABOUT THE TRASH CAN we bought to house the backyard hockey gear? It really classes up the room, if I do say so myself.

She looks fab in pink.

She really wanted to touch my nose through the tent.

I love this pic of her fat hand.

I asked her to stand by the shelf. She sat on the shelf.

I woke her up from her nap this morning.

She was... not happy. BUT SO ADORABLE.

 

Tutus for Minnie

 So, it turns out that my idea of Minnie's style and her idea of her style are not the same. I have always tried to dress her differently than I dressed baby Dorothy, who trended toward frilly. I think Minnie looks adorable in sporty clothes and sometimes buy her stuff from the boy side of Carter's and Old Navy because it's cuter.

But Minnie! It turns out LOVES the one tutu dress of Dorothy's that's in her dresser right now. She always chooses it when she picks her clothes, and she spins around and asks to be lifted up to the mirror to beam at that pretty baby. So in today's super essential Target pick up order (along with s'mores stuff and an iPhone charger cord because I spilled milk on Ben's phone serving milk and 2 different kinds of cookies that we were taste testing while playing Ticket to Ride-- regular chip beat oatmeal chip 3-1, and I was the holdout--and when Ben plugged his phone in that night he fried our chargers), I added 2 of the frilliest pink tutu dresses I could find. When we got home, Minnie pulled them out of the bag, held them to her chest, and screamed DADA before stomping off to show them to Ben. They're in the wash, so expect a style show tomorrow.

In the meantime:

I stand by the romper and pigtails as a solid look:

She's the sweetest-- we were making mad faces but mine made her laugh too hard.

Another excellent outfit, if I do say so myself

And, I mean. You guys. BABY MOM JEANS.

Some people skate. Some people make ice angels.

Hello pandemic anxiety. How have you been?

 I have been pretty ok re: COVID since the little kids got their vaccines and Ben and I both had successful first semesters. BUT THEN THERE WAS OMICRON, and now I am worried again. Pediatric hospitalizations on the rise. Our district going back to in-person learning. Unchecked community spread. The masks I ordered on 12/23 still not on their way. LOTS OF LITTLE THINGS.

Although I will be glad to say goodby to virtual school. Good lord the past 2 days have been busy and crowded, and Dorothy and Cooper-- in virtual school through the end of the quarter in a couple of weeks-- are getting sick of it and anxious to see their friends.

So, we are going back. Monday for the bigs and 1/24 for the littles. In total insanity, we decided to bring Dorothy and Cooper home for lunch every day. And we are sending Harry and Jack with Yeti straw tumblers and protein shakes and asking them to leave their masks on. That's not too crazy right? (I know it is-- you don't have to humor me. If Minnie were vaxxed I SWEAR I would have more chill).

Here's our full house from Thursday's virtual learning

My workspace:

Dorothy's

Jack's

Cooper's

Harry's

Ben's

Minnie's

Speaking of! Look at this giant toddler!!

Best puzzle:

Both and

 Yes, I think our district taking this week (and maybe more) off of in-person learning is a good idea. And yes, also, I am not looking forward to having all of the kids doing school from home. We have a small house and many people who live inside it. 4 kids plus Ben all working from home while Minnie and I also try to exist and sometimes make noise? NOT THE EASIEST THING EVER. Was not a highlight of my 2020, you know?

The weather is screwing up my life. It is suddenly FREEZING COLD here. Last year, I was wearing literal chains on my boots so I couldn't fall down and snuggling Minnie inside my coat so she could take her morning nap walk. This year, at 17 months old, she still takes a morning nap (!!!), and she still prefers to take it outside in the BOB stroller. Unfortunately, even with the stroller cover on, she's never going to be as warm in there as she was under my coat, so sometimes, it's too cold to walk. Also unfortunately, she doesn't like napping in her crib in the morning and I don't like it either because it screws up her life-giving afternoon nap. After a few days of crib naps (where I worked out double on the elliptical-- I try to do a half hour first thing in the AM and then I take my nap walk, so when she naps in her crib, I have to elliptical more), I put her in 2 fleece suits over her clothes, a hat and mittens, and a Harry's old toddler bed comforter. Then I put the stroller cover over the stroller and hoped for the best. After fussing for awhile. she slept so soundly that when I got too cold to walk any more (and also closed the red circle on my watch) and unloaded her in the garage, she didn't wake up right away and I almost freaked out.

In other sleep complaints: Minnie keeps waking up for the day pre-6am, and I just cannot. I think this might be related to the morning nap (she probably doesn't need 2 a day anymore), but I will still need a walk probably and BLAH. Happily, though, Dorothy, whose room is right next to Minnie's and is the reason we get Minnie up right away when she calls in the morning, has started sleeping on Cooper's top bunk (because we put a TV in Cooper's room, I am pretty sure). So! Dorothy is much better rested, and Ben and I feel like we can start letting Minnie and her crib stuffies entertain themselves for a half hour in the morning.

Here is Minnie looking at pictures of Ben because that is how much she misses her beloved DADA when he is on a work call and cannot hang with her. Today while I exercised, she hung out in the family room while he worked, and she was totally content and having a terrific time. Until I finished my workout and came in the room. Then, she started grabbing her diaper and saying diaper and pulling me toward the stairs. Turns out, her diaper CAME UNDONE when she pooped and she had poop all over her jammies and legs and was not going to say a word about it to her dad. WHAT THE HELL?

Cooper has been sciencing the shit out of the last few days.

Minnie has to help herself to seconds.

I scheduled time to worry, and it worked for me!

 Year ago, I listened to an episode of Happier and heard Gretchen Rubin and Liz Craft tell their listeners to reduce anxiety by scheduling time to worry. Because I like to worry all the time about everything, I marveled at this strategy and thought it could never work for me. After I waited for over two weeks for the results of a biopsy during a rough postpartum stretch after I had Minnie, though, I thought about scheduling time to worry again and wished I had done it. Think of all the perfectly lovely time I wasted when Minnie was mini being worried about a mole that turned out to be totally fine. I wish I could have that time back. 

So, last month, when I needed yet another biopsy of a lady part, I decided to give worry-scheduling a try. Here's how I made it work:

1. I had a month between visiting the doctor and having the ultrasound and biopsy. I knew I wanted to put the whole thing out of my mind for that month, so I asked a million questions at my initial appointment, and I told the doctor I needed something to treat the problem I was having (a period that would never end) in the short term so I wouldn't worry about it over time.

2. I followed up with my GP for a physical a few days after the OB appointment and filled her in on what was happening, asked her advice, asked even more questions. These 2 things helped put my mind at ease, even with a procedure hanging over me.

3. Every time I started thinking about a sonohysterography, I calmly batted the thought away like it was a balloon-- like you do with wandering mediation thoughts-- and reminded myself I could worry about it on January 3rd.

4. Then, yesterday, I worried all day long, and I was a mega bitch this morning.  The appointment itself was fine-- uncomfortable and inconvenient-- but fine. I asked a ton of questions because today was still technically a worry day, and I walked out feeling... not worried at all. I plan to revisit my worry when the clinic calls with biopsy results and not a moment sooner.

And I bought donuts to celebrate the procedure being over and my scheduled worry time working like a charm!

Also not worried: