YOU GUYS.
For the past year/2 years, my periods have been coming every 21-34 days, but my cycles have usually been around 24 days. Regularly irregular is how I described it to my doc on January. I weaned Minnie and my period went a teeny bit bananas (a TWO WEEK cycle), but then I had several new-normal months, etc.
BUT I HAVE NOT HAD A PERIOD IN OVER 55 DAYS.
What.
IS THIS THE END?
I am only 45-- what does this mean for my bones and my heart?
IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME? I had a period that DID NOT END when Minnie was teeny, so I had an endometrial biopsy and a super freaking intense dye contrast ultrasound in early 2021 (normal). I also had a (normal) pap in 2023. Soooooo, in terms of big scary stuff, I am not really that scared (WHAT ABOUT MY OVARIES? WHEN IS THE LAST TIME SOMEONE CHECKED IN WITH THEM besides a pelvic exam?), but.
MY DOCTOR RETIRED. She has been my doctor for TWENTY YEARS, so this freaks me out a bit. Also! I have a brand new PCP and am already bombarding her with ovarian concerns. By the time you read this, I will have also been on the horn with an RN from my OB’s office. I GUESS I AM PRETTY ANXIOUS AFTER ALL.
It would be WEIRD though if my period just quietly peaced out with little fanfare. I am the person who gets their period at precisely 6 weeks postpartum even with exclusive breastfeeding. I am the person who has had labor-like menstrual cramps and life-structuring PMS since I was a teenager. WILL IT REALLY END WITH A WHIMPER?
Although. Ok. I have had a few months of really strange periodic night sweats that don’t seem to correspond to weather. I have gained weight and it is very much in my stomach. I HAVE BEEN ANGRY FOR WEEEEEEEEKS around this non-cycle, and, as you can tell from this post, my anxiety is OFF THE CHARTS.
So maybe there have been warning signs?
GAH. Anyone have menopause stories/advice to share?
(At least it is pumpkin drank time)
Mine went very quietly, Sarah. I was was perhaps a couple of years younger than you are now and my periods just... stopped? After a year I took an FSH test and it was confirmed. We joke about my system being super utilitarian though. I got my period late at 14, got preggers both times the first month we tried, never went into labor and had to be induced both times--it was like my womb didn't know how to let go. And then after my spouse got a vasectomy, I just stopped having my period. Weird. But drama-free. I was mostly relieved... would you miss period-ing?
ReplyDeletethis sounds like the most perfect menopause
DeleteNo advice or insights, but commiserating that being a woman can be so bonkers sometimes. The hormones! Not knowing what's going on. Things starting and stopping. I hope things level out and you find a new doctor you love! Periods and I have a rough history; I suspect I'm quite a way from menopause, but my body is still adjusting post-ablation to the new normal. My cycles are all over the place, but at least my periods are So. Much. Lighter.
ReplyDeleteNOT KNOWING WHAT'S GOING ON. GAH. MY WHOLE LIFE IS POISED TO BE A JUDY BLUME NOVEL.
DeleteI think for some women, this transition can be not so bad overall. The night sweats sound perimenopausal related. I am not sure what to expect with menopause because my mom and older sister both had hysterectomies before going through menopause. I think both were maybe in the early stages?
ReplyDeleteI'm 42 and in the last year I have noticed that my cycles are very odd - I'll have very short cycles like 24 days and then they last quite awhile and sort of come in 2 spurts - like I'll think it's over and then I get round 2? So fun. I have always seen an OBGYN for all things female related and I LOVE my doctor. I have a PCP but I see her for all things non-RA and non-female anatomy related. Kind of a lot but I really love seeing an expert for female anatomy things!
My nurse today said the short cycles are the perimenopuase canary in the coal mine, so buckle up LOL
DeleteTMI... I've been fairly regular since my last baby 10 years ago but this summer things got a little wonky (I blamed it on travel/stress) Then I started bleeding on Aug 2 and didn't stop. By day 7-10 it was concerningly getting heavier so I went to my PCP. Who was (reassuringly?) unconcerned. She put me on double BCP's (ironically the same prescription my 18 year old started to regulate her burgeoning cycle is supposed to fix my dying cycle...) When the bleeding did not subside (at all) I did 5 days of tranexamic acid, which did slow things down but it came right back. Now I have had an ultrasound for fibroids (none detected,) have finally stopped bleeding, and have a referral back to the OBGYN who delivered my baby 10-year-old to discuss what is very likely to be perfectly "normal" hormonal wackiness of a 47-year-old. Yay?
ReplyDeletethis happened to me right after I had Minnie and I had an endometrial biopsy and ultrasound-- definitely more alarming than no period
DeleteSo, I assume that you've already checked this, and maybe it is not possible for other reasons I don't know, but could you be pregnant?
ReplyDeleteluckily NO :)
Deleteyep, had same thought as Kim . . . probably best to just make sure .. . . . .
ReplyDeleteMy mother had her last period in her 60s, so hearing that it could be the mid-40s is shocking to me. I hope your doctor's appointments give you some answers!
ReplyDeletethanks! could be YEARS of never knowing when I get my period. NEAT-O
DeleteSarah, ever since going off the pill when my husband had a vasectomy (which was...early 2006) my cycles were pretty long. At least 35 days but often longer than that. Then when I was in my 40s it would not be unheard of me to go a couple of months without a period. I thought maybe they would just get longer and longer and then disappear...but what has happened (I'm 48 now) is that in the past year Aunt Flo visits EVERY THREE AND A HALF WEEKS WTF AUNT FLO. GIVE ME SOME TIME TO MISS YOU. So, I miss those long cycle days. But I think mid-40s is very common for changes in periods, certainly it was for me and it has been for most, if not all, my friends. Perimenopause can take a LONG time to go through, so it could be a decade of wonky periods, sorry to be the one to tell you this, but it's true. 45 is not too young to start easing off on the period throttle. Generally the best indicator is when your mother stopped having periods, but that is the END of perimenopause. Not having a period for a year is indicative of true menopause. Perimenopause just means a fun assortment of cycles and symptoms up until that point. Oh, and my post menopausal friends have told me that HOT FLASHES LAST PAST MENOPAUSE WTF IS THAT ABOUT.
ReplyDeletemy awesome nurse practitioner said that short cycles are the first hallmark that menopause is really around the corner (I've been dealing with 21-24 days cycles for a couple of years but had no idea that was canary in the coal mine)
DeleteAt the start of peri menopause I had nights of waking up drenched in sweat- so much that I had to put a towel down to get back to sleep! And when menopause really started I felt like I had a furnace in my chest- that’s where it would start… and I’d quickly be covered in sweat.. only to start freezing the next minute! I know peri menopause can last a while.. mine started around age 50, and by 53 it was definitely over. That being said, I still get what I think of as ‘remnants’ of menopause, which I call ‘warm flashes’😅I feel for you! And hope it doesn’t get too bad… I just have to say: WHY do women have to go through SO much?! Haven’t we had enough with periods for a looong time, and then childbirth with all that’s involved..?! Finally, all I can offer is this: this too shall end🙄 xo, Ricki in NY
ReplyDeletethanks for sharing this-- so helpful
DeleteMy cycle had been lighter/more sporadic leading into the pandemic, then stopped entirely about a month into lockdown. I turned 47 that year, so your age doesn't seem that far off for perimenopause.
ReplyDeleteThis is not at all what anyone who's suffering through wants to hear, but... so far for me, it's been really easy. No sweats, no rages, no weight issues, no nothing... just my period stopping. It's been so quiet a thing that I feel weird admitting it.
This sounds ideal
DeleteAround your age I started having apocalyptic periods along with a bunch of other super-fun perimenopause symptoms. I had a giant fibroid removed and an ablation, and since then I haven't had a period, although the other wacky symptoms are still there. I think the rule is you're not officially done until you've passed 365 days without a period, but I am wishing you a nice easy slide into crone-dom.
ReplyDeletecrone-dom here I come :)
DeleteI recommend "The Menopause Manifesto" by Dr. Jen Gunter. She's a real OB/GYN who fights against medical disinformation with facts and feminism. She also used to have a Twitter account but has moved to Threads. Yes, you are officially not considered "in menopause" until you have gone a year without a period. I entered menopause at 47. I didn't have children, I understand those of us who don't often start menopause earlier. My mother and my sister were in their fifties when they started. I am managing my hot flashes with medication (non-hormonal, I had cancer) and I personally don't miss the periods and cramps at all.
ReplyDeleteI just read it-- SO GREAT.
DeleteHaha, I'm glad other people asked if you could be pregnant because that was my first thought, too! Isn't it just WILD how this whole periods/hormones/menopause racket is just not something we have clear understanding of? HMM I WONDER WHY. My mom started going through menopause in her late 40s so I'm preparing for it to happen in the next decade for me. Ugh.
ReplyDeleteUgh is right
DeleteHuh. I have no idea what's going on with my cycle because I've been on OCs for cycle control for, well, decades. I don't even know when my mom went through menopause, so maybe I should ask her that? Can you ask your biological mom about her experience? It's not definitive but might give you some idea. And of course, your NP's insight. :)
ReplyDelete