5 on a Friday: NOT MEETING MY FITNESS GOALS (51/52)

Unless those goals are fitting this cookie in my mouth-- then I am CRUSHING IT. 

1. It started with gingerbread teddy bears and snow men. I DEMOLISHED THEM

2. Then I moved on to scotcheroos.

3. THEN the kids were like WHEN ARE WE DOING OUR FAMILY GINGERBREAD HOUSE COMP? And I was like ugh we already ate TWO batches of ginger things and they were like IT IS A TRADITION. Sooooooo.

4. AND THEN Cooper was like oh hey mom my food science unit presentation is tomorrow and I need 100 of the peanut butter chocolate chip cookies my group and I designed.

WHILE ALSO THE SAME DAY Minnie found an American Girl baking book at the library and insisted on mini-snickerdoodles for her dolls. 

5. Finally, I was like you know what? I am going to just go ahead and make my cut out cookie dough and freeze half but also BAKE HALF ALL BY MY FREAKING SELF.

So I did, and it was magical.

(I made these too because SUZANNE has inspired me to make a cookie board-- I will show you when I have made more PB blossoms and some fudge)

Frosty has milk chocolate chip cookies, which I also made, but not for any reason just because we were out of cookies.

And let us not forget the mini choc chippers I did over the weekend for Minnie's playdate.

TL; DR: MY JEANS ARE TIGHT

25 for 2025

 I am so excited to embrace whatever comes my way this year. 2024's focus on rhythms was so helpful for me in terms of breaking out of rigid patters and learning to go with the flow as much as is humanly possible for someone as entrenched in my habits as I am.

In the spirit of limited flexibility (lol), here is my 25 for 2025 list.

Year-long goals: (I have a lot of these because 25 backwards is 52, and I am drawn to the daily/weekly actions for this year)

1. Bake 25 new cookie recipes (this could be totally new cookies-- like these iced gingerbread oatmeal cookies I am DROOLING over-- or cookies I have made before with a new twist).

2. Read 125 books (I am counting audio, digital, and print toward this goal)

3. Read 25 books on my Kindle. I hate my Kindle. I thought I would develop a routine with it and with library holds, but, alas, I have not. 2025 will be the year! Or, at the end of a year of trying really hard to use the damn thing, I will just admit that a Kindle is not for me. EITHER WAY IS A WIN.

4. Curate a 2025 playlist. It is unclear if Minnie the tyrant will let me listen to this playlist ever, though.

5. Track my spending every single day of the year, even when I buy stuff I'd rather not admit to (like THIS eye cream. The sample was sooooooo gooooooood, but I have yet to pull the trigger).

6. Walk outside every single day. No bad weather; only bad clothes, right???

7. Wear a weighted vest when I walk either outside or on the elliptical.

8. Make a will. Now that we have an of-age child to burden for the rest of his life with the care of his 4 siblings, we should draw up those documents.

9. Play Wordle/Connections/Spelling Bee every day. I want 356-day streaks for Wordle and Connections and 365 days of being a genius on Spelling Bee.

10. Practice a wind-down nighttime routine that always involves checking in with my planner and never (rarely!) includes eating soft cheese in unsafe amounts.

11. Deal with the ridiculous amount of art supplies we have in our front closet and make them accessible for Minnie. She takes her projects Very Seriously, and I want her to be able to help herself to all of the things all of time. I love everything about her crafting (SHE PUT HER DANCE TROPHY ON HER DESK, YOU GUYS), and I want to her to be able to find the googly eyes when she needs them, for example.

12. Eat 5 servings of veggies every day. Right now, I get 5 of fruits AND veggies combined, but it would be great if I got 5 servings of veggies (and still eat fruit, obvi).

13. Donate 25 bags of stuff to St. Vinny's

14. See 2-5 live performances (considering I have seen ZERO since the panny, this goal looks hard!!)

15. Meet 2-5 blog friends IRL. 2 seems pretty easy; 5 is a reach goal.

Monthly Goals:

16. Read at least one new book every month. Like new that month, not just a 2025 book. I think I do this most of the time by the middle of the year, but I am going to be intentional with my 2025 early reads and start out strong.

17. Listen to a new album every month. As you can see from my Apple Music end-of-year results, I just play whatever Minnie wants to listen to. If Dorothy doesn't like it, I don't even know a new artist/band. I think Vampire Weekend's Contra was the last album I listened to the day it dropped. IN 2010. So, this year, I will listen to one new album every month in its entirety. (Not new to me-- actually new to the world).

18. Do yoga 25 times/month, I want to make it part of my morning exercise routine OR my bedtime wind-down routine.

19. 2 pomodoros a day, 5 days a week where I focus completely on creative writing. 

20. Try a new restaurant every month.

21. Go out with Ben once a month

Floating Quarterly Intentions:

22. Q1: CREATE: I want to write 2500 words/session when I sit down to work on my book. GOTTA GET 'ER DONE, you know? (Obvi this will not happen in 2 pomodoros 5 -ish days a week, so I am going to have to magic up some time.)

23. Q2:

24. Q3:

25: Q4 

Money Monday: Almost a cost-saving Friday night

 In THEORY, grabbing take and bake pizzas and salad stuff from the grocery store is a cheap, fun way to make Friday night dinner kind of festive.

Unless that grocery store is Whole Foods.

LOL good thing we didn't go out for dinner. **eye roll**

In news that is more cost-effective, Dorothy's American Girls and Wellie Wishers are getting a second life! Here is about a third of them after some sort of cult ritual

And this girlie had a rough night but then enjoyed hair of the dog at a tea party with Minnie and her preschool bestie.

Minnie really wanted to wear her ballet recital costume for tea, but it was itchy

Also! This $3 color-on table cloth was a hit (they wanted a "fancy" table cloth for the tea party (which I did not itron).

I really DO have a case of the Mondays, you guys. I HATE the clutter of my Christmas decorations (this always happens to me). My house feels shabby and crowded and the dog! Is having accidents when the kids are watching her (their fault, not hers), and so it's just DISGUSTING in here. Plus, she can't go down the deck stairs, so when we let her out back, she poops and pees on the deck, and I have to clean it up right away or just LOOK AT IT through the kitchen door, and EVERYTHING IS DISGUSTING. Our house is too small and too beat up and bursting with 6 or 7 people and a DOG.

She got all her big girl vaccines (4 months on Christmas Eve!) and is, as the vet says "street legal," meaning we can board her or get her a haircut (NOT HAPPENING-- love her all messy and fluffy). She is also 6.3 pounds, meaning she has TRIPLED HER WEIGHT since we brought her home!

5 on.a Friday: Random Cuteness (50/52)

 
Dorothy dressed up liked a reindeer for dance on Wednesday and was thrilled to find out the whole class was making up dances to Christmas music and performing them for each other. (Now she has a month-long dance break, and I will not miss the after school hustle AT ALL)

But I WILL miss the cuteness. Minnie took her mini holiday show SO VERY SERIOUSLY. She is rocking the tutu Dorothy wore to her first recital (bougiest dance EVER-- every kid had to bring an American Girl doll to dance with LOL LOL LOL)

Minnie NEEDED to run into Target and pick out a new dress the other day, and this is what she chose-- DARLING.

She's really into Twister, but no one has explained how it works yet.

Annabel is a living stuffie-- we love her.

 

I FOUND A PLANNER, and I have some 25 in 25 questions for you...

Last year was the first year in a long time that I did not write a list of goals and big to-do's for the year. I got overwhelmed with 23 in 2023 and just did not want to add another thing. Instead, I wanted to focus on rhythms, and this was actually REALLY HELPFUL for me. 

After a year of paying attention to flow, I am much less likely to think OH MY GOSH THINGS ARE JUST AWFUL and much more likely to stand back and just, like, notice how things are going without necessarily judging them because I am looking for rhythms. Also, instead of being super entrenched in routines, I am much more likely to change things up because I know that most elements of my life sort of fluctuate. This has been really great for me, a creature of habit who tends to be a little rigid. 

Last night, for example, I did not clean the kitchen up until 9pm because Tuesday nights are rough, and the big kids all eat late dinners or snacks and pack their lunches after Minnie goes to bed and everyone is finally home. Usually, I kill myself getting everything cleaned up before dance at 6:15 (hard especially because we get home from school pick up/ dive team drop off at 5:20 and need to be BACK IN THE CAR by 6) because I always clean the kitchen right after dinner. Last night, though, I just didn't because we were rushing and because I knew it would get messed up again before (my) bedtime. I have observed the rhythm of my typical Tuesdays enough to stop making the same dumb mistakes. At the very end of the year (we have only had these particular Tuesdays since mid-September, though).

Minne brought a baby panda and an American Girl diaper bag and a dolly stroller with her to Dorothy's class last night. Not only did she play with the older girls (7-9 y/os), but she also got to watch a rec class perform their holiday dance. Adorable all around.

(That's just what she wore to school on a Tuesday-- no occasion LOL)

Anyway, I think I want to get back on the list-of-goals bandwagon. In a way that does not tempt fate or assume everything will be awesome all the time. But! I have a few things for my 25 for 25 list that are not actionable goals. I want to FINALLY finish the novel I have been working on forever and avoided ALL YEAR LONG. But saying "finish my book" is not effective. Does anyone have suggestions for concrete things I could put on my list that would help me achieve the goal? Similarly, I want to do a better job of working when I am not in my office-- really critical when I teach online this spring but also generally good for my workflow. Right now, I start and end the week strong and flail in the middle. Can anyone help steer me in the right goal direction? 

Anyone have anything great on their 25 for 25 lists that might inspire me (or others)? Anyone playing with the number 25 in any cool ways (Organizing principle? Mapping onto quintiles? Using 2-5 as a range?)

After telling Sarah on her podcast that I hate planners because I am un upholder who tips rebel and I am perfectly happy just using a notebook, I found THE CUTEST one at Urban Outfitters (a place I am too old to shop at, yes, but I was there to find stocking stuffers for Dorothy and something for our family Christmas Eve yankee swap (the theme is purple, and the price limit is $35 if you have any suggestions)). It is not dated (I LOVE THIS!) and has 2 pages for each day. The perfect mix of structure but not, like prescriptive structure.

I love having a dog to take out in the morning while the elementary school is ringing in the day (AT SEVEN TWENTY FREAKING FIVE AM) so everyone can see my awesome fit. (Loving Jack's puffy coat and Coop's lined Crocs, BTW).

It has been really windy, so Ben bungee corded our snowman to a pole with a rag on the end of it, and this is what our yard looks like all the time now.

DON'T YOU WANT TO BE OUR NEIGHBOR?!?

Money Monday: All Bets Are Off

 Oh, the holidays, you guys. Every year, I say NEXT YEAR I am going to start shopping in January. And then.

Things are... expensive.

We have FIVE CHILDREN, and even if we only buy a modest amount of things for them (spoiler: NOT OUR STYLE), those things add up fast. And older kids! The things they want cost more! It is SO EASY to make all of Minnie's Amazon toy catalog dreams come true, but then a kid is like OH HEY LOOK AT THIS AWESOME CAMERA I WANT and ...

I think when we are done with Santa (SOB), things will be easier because we won't feel like there has to be any sort of parity. Right now, we make sure everyone has the same amount of things to unwrap, and when our kids are all older and understand markets (LOL), it will be easier to be like oh yes we bought this persona many cheap things. But you can enjoy your (INSERT RIDICULOUS EXTRAVAGANCE HERE).

Thinking more about spending this year, though, I realize that we are just sort of spendy all the time, which is why we have a cozy house and mid-line cars and take small trips. WE LIKE TO BUY STUFF, and that's ok. We like giant Christmases, and that's FINE. So, we have to appreciate the process, if that makes sense. No reason to hem and haw and worry about money flying out the door when we KNOW it will happen, and we LIKE the result.

Something I CAN be better at, though, is the spur of the moment splurges. Like buying Minnie a new leotard for her mini holiday dance (and also buying Dorothy xmas legwarmers and a sparkly headband so she, too, can dress festively.) Yes, that's only $20/kid, but also it is POINTLESS MONEY to spend. It has been really cold, so I have driven Dorothy and Coop to school the past few days-- and also bought them hot chocolate and treats on the way. Another $30. $20 for smart plugs for our outdoor Christmas lights. $20 for a non-obtrusive extension cord for Ben to use when he WFH so we don't trip over his cord and die. $30 for Jack and Dorothy to troll Target together (they bought cozy socks and a holiday mini-waffle maker). $100 on clothes for Coop because we cannot wait another second for him to COVER UP HIS ANKLES MY GOD).  Minnie said she wanted to pierce her ears, and I was $150 poorer before you could say HEGEMONY.

And THEN! It HURT and she was a bit traumatized, so she wanted a treat and I was like um actually that expensive ordeal WAS the treat. So we went to the grocery store for frozen pizza and stuff to make blueberry muffins instead of going out to lunch (WINNING! Sort of ).

But seriously! Pierced ears!! (The fancy mall in our town got a Rowan-- a piercing place that uses nurses! And is adorable! When her earrings are ready come out, we can make an appointment to have a nurse take them out and put in her first regular pair-- so great!)

(She was back to herself in no time)

5 on a Friday: 15 mins to blog (49/52)

 1, OMG you guys. I was just at Lululemon buying stuff for Dorothy for Christmas, and I thought to myself I wish I could afford to shop here WHILE SHOPPING THERE for someone who will OUTGROW HER CLOTHES and wears a size 2. I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO WEAR THOSE PANTS WHEN SHE'S DONE. The TL; DR is that if I want $150 sweat patns, I SHOULD BUY THEM Why am I such a mom martyr??

2. THESE YOGURTS!! Are so good! And only 130 calories and 10 grams of protein. I AM OBSESSED.

3. THIS BOOK! Is a freaking delight. Yes, it is set at Christmas, but it is a timeless story-- posting it now, though, in case you want a cozy holiday read.

4. Minnie and I used THIS RECIPE to make gingerbread peeps (and dinosaurs), and the recipe was actually kind of terrible. I am going to have to try again (but maybe when she is at school because damn that was a mess).

5. I had coffee with Anne today, and it was a delight. Meeting blog friends in real life is THE BEST. We kept referencing all of you in conversation-- so FUN!

Sick when you don't have time to be sick: a rant

 The urgent care doc-- and his nurse-- both urged me to use a neti pot twice a day to rinse my sinuses. Today was the first time I tried it because my sinuses have been completely and totally clogged for the past 6 days and also neti pots freak me out.  I used it, though, because I HAVE BEEN A FULL TIME MOUTH BREATHER. 

One nostril worked great, but the other one DID NOT DRAIN and there is a tiny teapot of water lodged in my sinuses. My face is beyond puffy, and it is very much freaking me out and validating all my neti pot feels.

BUT I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER. I CAN BREATH WITH MY MOUTH CLOSED. It feels miraculous. (Also  I am sure a parasite is eating my brain right now even though I used distilled water).

I am so angry at anti-vaxxers and our lost pertussis herd immunity. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? The pertussis vaccine has been around since NINETEEN FOURTEEN YOU GUYS. And the one we get today? HAS BEEN AROUND SINCE I WAS IN JUNIOR HIGH, which was a VERY LONG TIME AGO. Scientists have studied it. IT IS SAFE . What's not safe? FREAKING WHOOPING COUGH.

People keep asking me if I feel better, and I think that I do, that I have felt a tiny bit better every day since Thanksgiving. A few days ago I stopped taking over the counter pain meds to just function because my body no longer ached all the time. For the past 3 days, I have only eaten, like, 2 or 3 cough drops a day. I am no longer slathered in Vics. But! I do not feel ALL better, and I was sick for so long, just going about my life, spreading my terrible disease, that I don't really remember what all better feels like. 

Because I didn't have a fever, it was easy to say oh well it's just a cough. I got used to giving myself a pep talk before I did simple things like PUT ON PANTS (because my hips were super achy so lifting one leg up actually HURT ME) that I gradually normalized how awful I felt physically and just started hating my life circumstances more broadly.

I have been SO DEPRESSED about everything-- my life path, my career trajectory, the amount of people who take up space and make messes in my house, aging, solo-parenting for half the week while also working, my red face, my fatter-than-normal middle-aged stomach-- all of the things. I also did really half-assed workouts (BECAUSE I HAD PNEUMONIA FFS) and was feeling down about that. All of this is to say, I was SO RELIEVED to discover I was ACTUALLY SICK, and I feel much better about my life, generally.

What really disturbs me though is how easy it was to ignore or downplay how terrible I felt. I chalked a lot of my malaise-- even chest pains from FREAKING PNEUMONIA-- up to mental health concerns and then even dismissed THOSE. I think it's because I am generally always pretty sure something terrible is wrong with me, so part of me is always telling myself to calm down. I also think Ben was stressed about some schedule changes he is making to accommodate both my weird end-of-semester schedule and some stuff on his work calendar, so he really did not want me to be sick and also tends to talk me off the hypochondria ledge quite a bit as part of his job as My Person.

The whole thing reminds me of a terribly depressing book I read about a woman who has a heart attack and her family DOES NOT EVEN NOTICE. (She also doesn't notice and the whole thing feels TOO REAL).

Anyway-- except for the extremely red nose and puffy face, I really am almost all better. Thanks for listening to me complain. Onward and upward, friends.

Some things I am loving right now:

PAJAMA DAY MINNIE

Also!! CHRISTMAS BEDS! (And yeah-- if I had the energy to change 7 beds in one day, I must be feeling better!!)

Even CHRISTMAS SHEETS! (for the girls and for me and Ben-- the boys all wanted flannel, and our flannel sheets are not themed).

When I change beds every week, I changed sheets, blankets and also comforters. In regular life, everyone but Minnie has duvet covers, and I have at least one spare for each bed, so I just take one off and pop a new one on. I do not have back up Christmas comforters, though, so it's a bunch of extra December laundry **whomp whomp**

One more thing I love: THESE candy/pretzel things. We have already eaten almost 200 (playing Cards Agianst Humanity-- so fun!)