Middle schoolers, you guys.

 OMG. 

These guys used to be middle schoolers. Now they are delightful humans.

I have been thinking about Lisa lately and how she says toddlerhood is not her favorite stage but then has tons of posts where she is having a delightful time with her toddler and trying to summon that energy as I deal with a particular middle schooler because middle school? NOT MY FAVORITE.

I think the problem, really, is that middle schoolers seem so together and human-like sometimes. They are smart and funny and responsible and capable. And then all of the sudden they are very extravagantly not those things, and not only is whatever they are doing annoying/distressing/anxiety-producing, but also my expectations have been violated.

SO!

I am trying to do a better job of setting my expectations.

Middle school is, really, a metaphysical nightmare. Middle schoolers are people very much in the process of becoming, and I make the mistake of thinking they already are. But! It’s an easy mistake to make, because we see these tantalizing glimpses of the people they are on the way to being.

I don’t get annoyed at all  when Minnie loses her shit over a sandwich in the wrong shape or a pair of underpants printed with a character she suddenly will not rep or an invitation to exit the car on what has magically become the WRONG SIDE because I expect her to be irrational. I know she needs some quiet time before dinner and snacks every couple of hours and a break from her tablet and a pre-8pm bedtime and a song to clean up her toys.

I need to apply that same logic to middle schoolers who are also at a weird, discombobulating moment of development and have big feelings and bodies that are growing faster than their clothes can contain and can’t actually play Fortnite more hours than they sleep even though they totally ay they can. It’s so easy to praise a toddler for learning to spell her name or being able to pull up her own pants after she uses the bathroom or learning to struggle into her snow gear with minimal assistance, but middle school milestones go unappreciated. I need to be better at finding the human-in-the-world skills these kids are learning and letting them now that I notice the people they’re becoming. But not in a weird way. Like I can’t all of the sudden say at the dinner table SHOW DADDY HOW YOU SET A BOUNDARY WITH A FRIEND ALL BY YOURSELF. Or SHOW YOUR BROTHERS HOW YOU OVERCAME INCAPACITATING INSECURITY ABOUT THE WAY THAT ONE HAIR STICKS UP AND WENT TO SCHOOL ANYWAY. Or TELL GRANDMA ABOUT HOW TEST ANXIETY MADE YOU PUNCH YOUR SISTER BUT THEN YOU STUDIED AND STOPPED SCREAMING AT EVERY ONE AND IT WAS FINE.

Middle schoolers: people caught up in a being/becoming nightmare that is actually just their life one emo day at a time. Not demons trying to make me die of apoplexy. 

But also MIDDLE SCHOOL IS THE WORST and it is hard not to resent losing work time to other people’s dysregulation, you know???

Onward and upward— here is a baby ballerina saying French dance words. Luckily I will be firmly in my dotage by the time she’s a middle schooler and will have cute grandkids to gush over maybe if I a very lucky.