Money Monday: Spending Priorities and Budget Wishlists

 I ask myself WHY THE HECK AM I EVEN TRACKING MY SPENDING THIS IS TERRIBLE EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE LET'S BURN IT ALL DOWN AND ALSO BUY SOME SHOES. And then! I answer myself with a huge I DON'T EVEN KNOW; STOP YELLING AT ME.

But really? This whole thing* has been eye opening in terms of making our spending priorities visible.

*By thing I mean the totally novel concept of knowing how much money you make and how much money you spend. WEIRD, huh?

Here is how I am reading the spending tea leaves after about 4 weeks of paying attention:

 We prioritize convenience, meaning we are happy to pay more for stuff if it is easier. Yes, I will pay $8 for a package of pre-cubed squash EVERY TIME and $28 a week for pre-blended smoothies if that means my kid will get a snack before a practice (that sentence is awkwardly constructed, but there is, like, no way anyone is eating squash cubes for snack).

We prioritize driving new cars-- this is something that could have been obvious by looking at our, um, driveway, I guess. But seeing numbers on paper makes me realize that we like cars, so we should act like it-- you know? Which is why I told Ben I wanted a car vacuum and had this eye-rolling exchange with him:

We prioritize kid activities. We spend a good chunk on kid stuff-- preschool, dive, baseball, dance, equipment, high school fees, travel- all of those things. I think we already knew that stuff was a priority because we also spend time in that category. Still, on paper, it is a large expense, and we need to remember that when we talk about these things. Like, they are valuable to us, so we need to make sure we talk about them/think about them/frame them in that way.

I personally prioritize self care: acupuncture, massage, pedicures, face masks, teeth whitening, SO MANY skincare products, and! This is something I didn't really notice before, but my hair products are all very expensive. I don't use that much of any one thing or more than one or two things at a time, but at $40 a pop, it is really annoying when my cream, oil, thickening spray, heat protectant, volumizer, dry volume spray, mousse, and hair spray run out at the same time. (I am pretty loyal to Aveda and Perfect Hair Day products). Before I started tracking every dollar, I considered myself low budget because I generally don't buy a ton of new clothes, and when I do, Target, Old Navy, and LOFT sale racks are my go-tos. LOL LOL LOL.

We prioritize brands that we like over cost. Food, cars, grooming products, clothes and shoes-- we like what we like, and things cost what they cost.

I know I have only been tracking for a few weeks, but based on the data in front of me, I have a few budget wishlist items:

1. I want to better account for how much money is coming in. Both of us do some adjuncting work and other contractual things, and we are terrible at planning what to do with that money/noticing how it ebbs and flows. 

2. I want to plan some travel that is not diving or dance related (even though we have several flying trips for those on the horizon).

3. I want to gamify our budget because if saving is fun in the short term, it will be so much easier. A million years ago, we did Dave Ramsey’s cash envelopes and saved SO MUCH MONEY. Clearly cash is not king anymore, so we need to do the system digitally, but, for me, having concrete categories and a bunch of separate pots of money helps me spend less and see my savings accumulate in a really satisfying way.

APROPOS of NOTHING! (Well, I mean, this was a free activity, so maybe it’s a little on theme.)

We took Minnie to the campus art museum over the weekend, and the Petah Coyne exhibit! Almost made me cry! It’s beautiful, and I can’t wait to go back by myself and just soak in all in— when I probably will cry because I won’t feel self conscious or the need to explain myself to a preschooler.

When I was in college forensics, I did a dramatic interpretation from Zelda, a play about Zelda Fitzgerald by William Luce. (I won state and got sixth place in the nation, not that anyone would keep track of weird stuff like that from college **cough cough** hall of famer ** cough cough**). The BEST LINE in the whole play is the one quoted on the second picture. It made me cry every time. (In the play she says Nobody, not the poets, not even Mr. F. Scott Fitzgerald himself, can measure how much a heart can hold.)

It was especially arresting for me, 24 years out from that performance, walking through the quiet gallery with my youngest child. How did I get here from where I was when I first encountered that quotation? (I actually saw the play in high school when a senior on my speech team performed it when I was a freshman. By the time I was a senior in college 8 years later, I figured no one would remember when the play was popular in forensics, so I decided to perform it because I remembered that script from the time I was 14 years-old). 

But seriously!  I was just young and balanced on the precipice of a universe of possibility, and now I’m almost fifty and settled into a life I couldn’t have imagined in granular detail with a daughter (my fifth kid! College me would lose her shit) who looks like a human Care Bear, and it is all too beautiful and sad and hopeful and nostalgic— exactly like the exhibit. THE TEXTURES in there! I loved it so much.

Minnie shared her thoughts over ice cream at the student union. They were delectable.

To close, here is a new Money Monday feature:

What I spent this week— the best and the worst:

The best money I spent this week was $9 on Tree Hut Watermelon body butter at Target. TREE HUT! It’s a new obsession!

The WORST money I spent this week was $30 on a campus parking ticket. ** whomp whomp** I told Coop to text me when he found his team at the campus gym when I dropped him off at diving (because there was talk on What’s App that they were meeting outside, and Coop gets there late because his school dismisses so late, so I wanted to make sure he found his people.) WELL. He forgot to text and did not answer my super chill 13 phone calls, so I had to park in short-term metered parking at a dorm down the street and drag both girls through traffic to the gym and all the way upstairs to find him. AND IN THOSE FRUSTRATING FIVE MINUTES, I got a ticket because I didn't pay the meter the literal dime this errand should have cost. GAH. Also! I pay almost $100 a month to park in my garage just a block away, BUT THAT SEEMED LIKE TOO MUCH OF A HASSLE. Sometimes, I am very dumb.

Hey! Also! I got to talk to the incredible Sarah for her podcast Best Laid Plans, and you should listen :) Thanks for having me-- it was a blast!