I am NOT going to let the election results turn me into an angry, hopeless, internet-meme-obsessed version of myself.
Part of the reason the 100 days of Harris's campaign were so intoxicating is the JOY she and Tim Walz brought (back) to politics.
It was fun to remember how much I love America. We watched Harris's Madison rally speech on Instagram because Harry and Jack were there (we could see them on the screen right behind the Veep!!) and when it was over, Minnie said, "I love our flag. Tomorrow will you help me draw it on big paper?" Even a 4-year-old was caught up in the patriotic JOY Harris exuded.
I also went home in September and was shocked by how run down my hometown looked. We saw a man who had overdosed on a park bench by the river (near where my dad's memorial bench is), and people holding a birthday party next to an adjacent playground were totally nonplussed. THIS IS TRUMP'S AMERICA Ben and I told each other. It is really hard to convince people that democracy is in peril and worth saving when it is an institution that does not work for them anyway.
And on Wednesday! 2 gallons of non-organic milk and a bag of butterscotch baking chips cost SIXTEEN DOLLARS. The grocery store also had 2 dozen eggs for TEN DOLLARS. YOU GUYS. These prices are too high. Do I think corporate sponsored autocracy, crypto goons, and tech bros are going to make prices lower? Erm. No. But I understand why people were duped into voting against their own interests, is what I am saying.
Do I feel extreme rage toward people who voted third party in this election especially since my state and PA were so close that those votes really mattered? I mean, listen, I AM TRYING NOT TO. I am trying to listen and understand because that is THE ONLY WAY that we can build a winning coalition.
I cannot stop thinking about the Trump door I knocked on during one of my canvass shifts and the nice man who talked passionately and jovially with me about how he voted for isolationism and anti war foreign policy. Or the young man who told me he was going to write in Bernie and watch it all burn. And all of the JOYFUL people EXCITED to vote Harris-Walz-- I remember them, too. AND THERE WERE SO MANY. (My county went 75/25, but in 2020, we were NINETY PERCENT BLUE).
I was up literally all night on election night. As soon as the first exit polls came in and MSNBC chirpily reported that over 75% of respondents thought the country was headed in the wrong direction, I was like oh dear. I hid from the results, but I could hear Ben consoling Jack, and then the bad news started to chirp in via Policito on Ben's phone, and I stayed awake ALL NIGHT stewing and feeling so so so sad. It reminded me of election night 2016 and also the night my dad died. THOSE ARE THE THREE WORST NIGHTS I CAN REMEMBER.
Thanks to Hillary Clinton's do all the good that you can for all the people you can for as long as you can mantra, the election processing episode of Pod Save America, Harris's concession speech, and the fabulous Bibliomama for pulling me out of my funk enough to pause my pre-written posts and add this one.
5 things I am doing to cultivate joy as resistance:
1. ABSTAIN FROM SOCIAL MEDIA. I don't know how long this will last, but it feels like something radical to connect in real life and choose the present moment over the virtual ones. At the very least, it's a form of resisting the very worst of neoliberal capitalism via all those sneaky ads for things I never typed about but maybe talked about and for sure thought about. SO CREEPY YOU GUYS.
2. CONSUME REAL NEWS FROM REAL SOURCES that I spend real dollars on to support real journalists. I have digital NYT and WSJ subscriptions, and we get Foreign Affairs. I think I am also going to re-up our local newspaper subscription-- but maybe just on Sundays-- to encourage the kids to consume real news, too. It will bring me deep personal joy to resist every idiot's internet hot take and remind myself that there are real experts who are producing actual knowledge.
3. FIND MORE OPPORTUNITIES FOR COMMUNITY VOLUNTEERING. I loved working with my neighborhood action team during the course of this election (and major elections since 2016). I will of course canvass my face off against Ron Johnson in the midterms, and in the meantime, I will keep volunteering for our school district. I want to also do some family volunteering for the holidays and find some local orgs the kids can get excited about working with-- I'll keep you posted,
4. PRACTICE RADICAL KINDNESS. I am bad at this one. I am judgmental. Insecure. Anxious. But honestly? That's sort of what the politics of the other side wants us to be. Or maybe needs us to be? I am going to start this practice right now, in my own house, on my own street. Can radical kindness be radical/ propel us toward a joyful resistance/ fuel political action? How is it expressed in the most quotidian sense? THESE ARE MY DEEPLY SKEPTICAL QUESTIONS. But being nice can't HURT, right?
5. RESIST JOY AS A BALM FOR PRIVILEGED GUILT. I don't mean that I am going to fake happiness until I make it or ignore injustice unfolding around me with a kind of blithe ignorance. Instead, I mean that I will cultivate joy to feed the furnace of hope, of unity, of celebration, of action, of finding what we have in common through our divisions. Like hygge without the xenophobic nationalism.
My best friend is having a political processing/re-building/brainstorming session in her office yard-- with lawn chairs!-- this weekend in downstate IL to figure out how Dems can will races up and down the ballot there. She has LGBTQ+ leaders, Planned Parenthood leaders, clergy, local pols-- a HUGE coalition. And also? She is lovely and warm and funny and welcoming, and the event is also a PARTY. THIS is the kind of resistant joy I am talking about.
Thank you so much for writing about this. I have felt depressed for the last two days and have burst into tears a couple of times, which is very unlike me. Honest question as I value your opinion: do you think this means we are headed back to the days of loud and public homophobia (I went to high school in the late 90s and being gay was like being a leper)? Appreciate your thoughts.
ReplyDelete"It is really hard to convince people that democracy is in peril and worth saving when it is an institution that does not work for them anyway." PRECISELY
ReplyDeleteYes Sarah, I love this. I lay awake in bed on Tuesday night for a long time, crying on and off. The results weren't even in yet, but it didn't look good and I was so, so sad that- whatever the outcome- SO MANY people voted for him.
ReplyDeleteAnyway. One of my coping mechanisms is to show compassion for everyone I meet. I actually imagine bathing everyone in intense kindness. Other people are hurting too- they may not be hurting for the same reasons I am, but everyone has something going on. This has been a hard few days, but it feels good to do SOMETHING.
I have read your blog sporadically since discovering a while ago that you are a mama of five living in Madison, as am I! I am not much of a commenter on anything, ever, but I wanted to thank you for sharing this. It encompasses so much of what I have been thinking and feeling.
ReplyDeleteI found your blog from BOBW podcast :) I got off social media in 2020 and purchased online subscriptions to my local paper and also the Dallas Morning News. I have social media blocked on my phone and only my husband knows the password. I am generally happier, better informed, and less judgmental of my Deep RED neighbors. It has allowed people at church to get to know me for me first and slowly figure out I’m a flaming lib. So I have experienced slightly less judgement at church as time has gone on. I was expecting this result. Fox news keeps Conservatives feeling angry/scared. And anger and fear are highly motivating. For some reason, this feels good to human beings from a neurobiology stand point. I truly wonder what Fox News will say to make people angry now? Conservatives have everything they ever wanted. They’ll have to make up even more wild stuff. I want to be an example of Joy. I heard Harris’s speech, and she almost quoted the bible, re letting your light shine. “Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify the Father which is in heaven”. Democrats have to let our light shine and attract the good people of our country. And most conservatives are “good” and want the same things as we do, but they are lied to. Honestly, I’m afraid to talk about politics because I don’t want my Christianity to be judged. I need to shine my light though! To be a better example.
ReplyDeleteI love everything about this post but this sentence "to encourage the kids to consume real news" struck me. What a great way to make sure to understand what real news are and how they are written. That it takes time and resources to real news and not just a few click online and then blast it out.
ReplyDeleteThat party also sounds like a really really good idea and such a proactive why to figure out what is next.
I have joined a democracy club a few weeks back and there is the annual meeting coming up next Saturday. I am excited and look forward hearing more about all the offers they provide for the public.