I am NOT going to let the election results turn me into an angry, hopeless, internet-meme-obsessed version of myself.
Part of the reason the 100 days of Harris's campaign were so intoxicating is the JOY she and Tim Walz brought (back) to politics.
It was fun to remember how much I love America. We watched Harris's Madison rally speech on Instagram because Harry and Jack were there (we could see them on the screen right behind the Veep!!) and when it was over, Minnie said, "I love our flag. Tomorrow will you help me draw it on big paper?" Even a 4-year-old was caught up in the patriotic JOY Harris exuded.
I also went home in September and was shocked by how run down my hometown looked. We saw a man who had overdosed on a park bench by the river (near where my dad's memorial bench is), and people holding a birthday party next to an adjacent playground were totally nonplussed. THIS IS TRUMP'S AMERICA Ben and I told each other. It is really hard to convince people that democracy is in peril and worth saving when it is an institution that does not work for them anyway.
And on Wednesday! 2 gallons of non-organic milk and a bag of butterscotch baking chips cost SIXTEEN DOLLARS. The grocery store also had 2 dozen eggs for TEN DOLLARS. YOU GUYS. These prices are too high. Do I think corporate sponsored autocracy, crypto goons, and tech bros are going to make prices lower? Erm. No. But I understand why people were duped into voting against their own interests, is what I am saying.
Do I feel extreme rage toward people who voted third party in this election especially since my state and PA were so close that those votes really mattered? I mean, listen, I AM TRYING NOT TO. I am trying to listen and understand because that is THE ONLY WAY that we can build a winning coalition.
I cannot stop thinking about the Trump door I knocked on during one of my canvass shifts and the nice man who talked passionately and jovially with me about how he voted for isolationism and anti war foreign policy. Or the young man who told me he was going to write in Bernie and watch it all burn. And all of the JOYFUL people EXCITED to vote Harris-Walz-- I remember them, too. AND THERE WERE SO MANY. (My county went 75/25, but in 2020, we were NINETY PERCENT BLUE).
I was up literally all night on election night. As soon as the first exit polls came in and MSNBC chirpily reported that over 75% of respondents thought the country was headed in the wrong direction, I was like oh dear. I hid from the results, but I could hear Ben consoling Jack, and then the bad news started to chirp in via Policito on Ben's phone, and I stayed awake ALL NIGHT stewing and feeling so so so sad. It reminded me of election night 2016 and also the night my dad died. THOSE ARE THE THREE WORST NIGHTS I CAN REMEMBER.
Thanks to Hillary Clinton's do all the good that you can for all the people you can for as long as you can mantra, the election processing episode of Pod Save America, Harris's concession speech, and the fabulous Bibliomama for pulling me out of my funk enough to pause my pre-written posts and add this one.
5 things I am doing to cultivate joy as resistance:
1. ABSTAIN FROM SOCIAL MEDIA. I don't know how long this will last, but it feels like something radical to connect in real life and choose the present moment over the virtual ones. At the very least, it's a form of resisting the very worst of neoliberal capitalism via all those sneaky ads for things I never typed about but maybe talked about and for sure thought about. SO CREEPY YOU GUYS.
2. CONSUME REAL NEWS FROM REAL SOURCES that I spend real dollars on to support real journalists. I have digital NYT and WSJ subscriptions, and we get Foreign Affairs. I think I am also going to re-up our local newspaper subscription-- but maybe just on Sundays-- to encourage the kids to consume real news, too. It will bring me deep personal joy to resist every idiot's internet hot take and remind myself that there are real experts who are producing actual knowledge.
3. FIND MORE OPPORTUNITIES FOR COMMUNITY VOLUNTEERING. I loved working with my neighborhood action team during the course of this election (and major elections since 2016). I will of course canvass my face off against Ron Johnson in the midterms, and in the meantime, I will keep volunteering for our school district. I want to also do some family volunteering for the holidays and find some local orgs the kids can get excited about working with-- I'll keep you posted,
4. PRACTICE RADICAL KINDNESS. I am bad at this one. I am judgmental. Insecure. Anxious. But honestly? That's sort of what the politics of the other side wants us to be. Or maybe needs us to be? I am going to start this practice right now, in my own house, on my own street. Can radical kindness be radical/ propel us toward a joyful resistance/ fuel political action? How is it expressed in the most quotidian sense? THESE ARE MY DEEPLY SKEPTICAL QUESTIONS. But being nice can't HURT, right?
5. RESIST JOY AS A BALM FOR PRIVILEGED GUILT. I don't mean that I am going to fake happiness until I make it or ignore injustice unfolding around me with a kind of blithe ignorance. Instead, I mean that I will cultivate joy to feed the furnace of hope, of unity, of celebration, of action, of finding what we have in common through our divisions. Like hygge without the xenophobic nationalism.
My best friend is having a political processing/re-building/brainstorming session in her office yard-- with lawn chairs!-- this weekend in downstate IL to figure out how Dems can will races up and down the ballot there. She has LGBTQ+ leaders, Planned Parenthood leaders, clergy, local pols-- a HUGE coalition. And also? She is lovely and warm and funny and welcoming, and the event is also a PARTY. THIS is the kind of resistant joy I am talking about.
Thank you so much for writing about this. I have felt depressed for the last two days and have burst into tears a couple of times, which is very unlike me. Honest question as I value your opinion: do you think this means we are headed back to the days of loud and public homophobia (I went to high school in the late 90s and being gay was like being a leper)? Appreciate your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteGod I hope not. I hope that we can all shine a light in our local communities/schools/neighborhoods to prevent this exact kind of thing.
Delete"It is really hard to convince people that democracy is in peril and worth saving when it is an institution that does not work for them anyway." PRECISELY
ReplyDeletehow to fix this, though??
DeleteYes Sarah, I love this. I lay awake in bed on Tuesday night for a long time, crying on and off. The results weren't even in yet, but it didn't look good and I was so, so sad that- whatever the outcome- SO MANY people voted for him.
ReplyDeleteAnyway. One of my coping mechanisms is to show compassion for everyone I meet. I actually imagine bathing everyone in intense kindness. Other people are hurting too- they may not be hurting for the same reasons I am, but everyone has something going on. This has been a hard few days, but it feels good to do SOMETHING.
I love the image of a kindness bath
DeleteI have read your blog sporadically since discovering a while ago that you are a mama of five living in Madison, as am I! I am not much of a commenter on anything, ever, but I wanted to thank you for sharing this. It encompasses so much of what I have been thinking and feeling.
ReplyDeleteoh my gosh! a fellow madison mom of 5! and we share a NAME?!?!
DeleteThat’s pretty much what I thought when I found your blog. And now you wrote many of my post-election thoughts too :) I love the idea of joy, community and radical empathy as resistance. Raising thoughtful, kind future adults is resistance, too.
DeleteI found your blog from BOBW podcast :) I got off social media in 2020 and purchased online subscriptions to my local paper and also the Dallas Morning News. I have social media blocked on my phone and only my husband knows the password. I am generally happier, better informed, and less judgmental of my Deep RED neighbors. It has allowed people at church to get to know me for me first and slowly figure out I’m a flaming lib. So I have experienced slightly less judgement at church as time has gone on. I was expecting this result. Fox news keeps Conservatives feeling angry/scared. And anger and fear are highly motivating. For some reason, this feels good to human beings from a neurobiology stand point. I truly wonder what Fox News will say to make people angry now? Conservatives have everything they ever wanted. They’ll have to make up even more wild stuff. I want to be an example of Joy. I heard Harris’s speech, and she almost quoted the bible, re letting your light shine. “Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify the Father which is in heaven”. Democrats have to let our light shine and attract the good people of our country. And most conservatives are “good” and want the same things as we do, but they are lied to. Honestly, I’m afraid to talk about politics because I don’t want my Christianity to be judged. I need to shine my light though! To be a better example.
ReplyDeleteI love that you are happier engaging in REAL community, and I heard those echoes in Harri's speech as well.
DeleteI love everything about this post but this sentence "to encourage the kids to consume real news" struck me. What a great way to make sure to understand what real news are and how they are written. That it takes time and resources to real news and not just a few click online and then blast it out.
ReplyDeleteThat party also sounds like a really really good idea and such a proactive why to figure out what is next.
I have joined a democracy club a few weeks back and there is the annual meeting coming up next Saturday. I am excited and look forward hearing more about all the offers they provide for the public.
what a cool club-- this sounds like a great way to get involved in your local situation.
DeleteI know this comment won't have popular appeal but I don't think that the DNC or KH brought any joy, really. I think that the DNC did nothing but set up a situation where you had to just NOT vote for T*ump, but vote for a candidate who thinks your problems aren't real. To be very clear, I am not co-signing a vote for him or in any way suggesting race and gender did not factor into this decision. But I do think we need to reconcile the fact that there are ways this "democracy" has actually worked well for these people. The person who OD'ed on that bench lives in Biden's America, and Obama's, and Trump's, and Bush's, etc. Again, not suggesting a straight equivalency here but as a leftist who has voted for Democrats because they are less bad I'm just not sure where to go from here.
ReplyDeleteI agree that the dems have lost sight of the real fight-- for workers AGAINST corporate interests-- or have at least forgotten how to persuade people about it. But I don't think that America is a land of opportunity for a lot of people because of economic concerns that are the GOP's fault-- from conservative SC justices ruling that corporations are people, to tax cuts for billionaires that have harmed the middle class, to loss of a social safety net. I don;t think the problem this cycle was a substantive one in terms of Dem policy-- it was a failure to sell the message, IMO. But I LIKED KH and I DID feel joy. My vote was FOR, not just against.
DeleteThank you for responding - and I want to say I in no way meant to strip joy away from people on an individual level when we all need it. I wish we could do better for everyone. And also I don't think the economic policies of most presidents are very different - I think that's the point I was trying to make about establishment politicians vs leftists.
DeleteI think KH is not progressive enough for me personally if I got to choose any Dem, soi I do understand that there is often not a ton of space between center left and center right. I taught Warren's Washington Square rally speech in class last week, and that speech! Has the economic message that Dems need, I think. Or maybe not the message but the policy ideas for sure. But I DO think Biden had a really progressive economic agenda and that Harris's policy proposals continued his work in excellent ways.
DeleteJoy as resistance! I love it. The consuming real news is interesting, when we were in Italy my husband turned on the BBC as the one channel that was English, and it was so fascinating to see such good journalism. It honestly makes a difference!
ReplyDeleteHUGE difference!! And I am seeing that young people have a really hard time distinguishing between good info and bad
DeleteI'm not there yet, but I'm working on it. I like the idea of joy as resistance, thank you for that framing.
ReplyDeleteSARAH. Crying. #5 beautifully articulates something that I've been struggling to articulate. We were at a low point in Ontario politics and my friend Kerry had a backyard party where we played games, including a coin toss where all the money was donated to relevant charities. It was small, but it felt really good.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this post! A lot of my friends need a bit more time before they can think this way but I hope they will get there eventually. Yes to all of these except maybe number 1. I met a lot of lovely people through Instagram - even in real life - and I am not ready to give that up quite yet. But I agree that the ads are extremely annoying.
ReplyDeleteWell, I texted you too but I think the social media plan sounds divine and I think if social media just evaporated into thin air right now, everyone would be better off except for like, Mark Zuckerberg, and I hope you love your SM-free experience as much as I have!!!
ReplyDeleteErnie here . . . Have not figured out how to sign in as me in my new phone. That backyard party sounds like a great way to channel good energy. Love it. Also, I keep noticing ads that relate to nothing I have typed but to conversations in my house. That is unnerving.
ReplyDeleteThis post is a deep calming breath and will help with my goal of being a good grown up after the unfathomable election. I read it while listening to Scott Horsley on NPR explain that extended inflationary periods alone often toss out incumbents, regardless of any others factors.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate this post so much. I am still very sad and already feel very TIRED about resuming our resistance fight. I'm scared as a queer woman but also scared as a woman who could get pregnant at any point. I'm angry at so many people, but I also think we didn't hammer home the point about how Trump's economic plans are going to HURT, not HELP Americans. I love my Pod Save America boys, but I think they sometimes get lost in an echo chamber of being Incredibly Online (and incredibly wealthy) that they don't understand how inflation has affected regular people. People are struggling financially and they went with an option that may help them rather than the "same old." Do I think this is worth the threat he poses to democracy, to minorities/immigrants, to our systems and government departments? HELL NO. It's so scary to think about what these next 4 years will entail.
ReplyDeleteWe could really use some critical thinking classes and teach kids how to separate real news from fake news going forward. SIGH.
ReplyDeleteWhat a mess.
I was away on a work trip and stayed in that bubble for as long as possible before confronting the truth of this election. It makes me so sick to think about how people have been duped by all the negative rhetoric. I am trying really hard to be kind and compassionate but man, it's a real challenge in this climate where I feel suspicious of (and 'sold out' by) people.