Last year was the first year in a long time that I did not write a list of goals and big to-do's for the year. I got overwhelmed with 23 in 2023 and just did not want to add another thing. Instead, I wanted to focus on rhythms, and this was actually REALLY HELPFUL for me.
After a year of paying attention to flow, I am much less likely to think OH MY GOSH THINGS ARE JUST AWFUL and much more likely to stand back and just, like, notice how things are going without necessarily judging them because I am looking for rhythms. Also, instead of being super entrenched in routines, I am much more likely to change things up because I know that most elements of my life sort of fluctuate. This has been really great for me, a creature of habit who tends to be a little rigid.
Last night, for example, I did not clean the kitchen up until 9pm because Tuesday nights are rough, and the big kids all eat late dinners or snacks and pack their lunches after Minnie goes to bed and everyone is finally home. Usually, I kill myself getting everything cleaned up before dance at 6:15 (hard especially because we get home from school pick up/ dive team drop off at 5:20 and need to be BACK IN THE CAR by 6) because I always clean the kitchen right after dinner. Last night, though, I just didn't because we were rushing and because I knew it would get messed up again before (my) bedtime. I have observed the rhythm of my typical Tuesdays enough to stop making the same dumb mistakes. At the very end of the year (we have only had these particular Tuesdays since mid-September, though).
Minne brought a baby panda and an American Girl diaper bag and a dolly stroller with her to Dorothy's class last night. Not only did she play with the older girls (7-9 y/os), but she also got to watch a rec class perform their holiday dance. Adorable all around.
Anyway, I think I want to get back on the list-of-goals bandwagon. In a way that does not tempt fate or assume everything will be awesome all the time. But! I have a few things for my 25 for 25 list that are not actionable goals. I want to FINALLY finish the novel I have been working on forever and avoided ALL YEAR LONG. But saying "finish my book" is not effective. Does anyone have suggestions for concrete things I could put on my list that would help me achieve the goal? Similarly, I want to do a better job of working when I am not in my office-- really critical when I teach online this spring but also generally good for my workflow. Right now, I start and end the week strong and flail in the middle. Can anyone help steer me in the right goal direction?
Anyone have anything great on their 25 for 25 lists that might inspire me (or others)? Anyone playing with the number 25 in any cool ways (Organizing principle? Mapping onto quintiles? Using 2-5 as a range?)
After telling Sarah on her podcast that I hate planners because I am un upholder who tips rebel and I am perfectly happy just using a notebook, I found THE CUTEST one at Urban Outfitters (a place I am too old to shop at, yes, but I was there to find stocking stuffers for Dorothy and something for our family Christmas Eve yankee swap (the theme is purple, and the price limit is $35 if you have any suggestions)). It is not dated (I LOVE THIS!) and has 2 pages for each day. The perfect mix of structure but not, like prescriptive structure.
Sarah, I am thisclose to finishing my second draft, and while I'm over here with tons of free time and not five kids and not a full-time job (or any job, really) I will tell you what worked for me: daily word count for four days a week. I don't know what your word count will be but for me it was 1000 words, four days a week for the first draft (or more, depending on the FLOW) and right now it's 1500 words for four-five days a week, since I got home from Italy. That's probably a big word count for you with your busy life, but a woman in my writing group is doing 200 words a day, and it's really adding up well for her. For me it's all about being consistent and also writing down the word count after every writing session so I can be pleased with myself. I don't know, maybe this will help you, maybe not - remember I'm NOT currently a busy person at all, so I feel like I'm all "let them eat cake" but with writing, but maybe it will help?
ReplyDeleteI DO want to be your neighbor, assuming you won’t be overly bothered by our tendency to block the driveway with too many cars.
ReplyDeleteI have not heard of the 25 in 25 model of goals for the year. That sounds near impossible to me. I also like a planned without a built in calendar/undated pages. I just use a lined notebook (not a spiral). Not necessarily saying that works great but I like the ongoing to do list/cross stuff off list.
As far as finish the book, have you tried to schedule a set amount of time each day or week? Or opt for a chapter every, I dunno, 2 weeks?
I belong to a writing workshop. And a small group of writers that meets on the opposite weeks. I read my stuff a few times a month and that means I make time for writing.
What has worked for me (as a non-official writer-type) was to push myself to get to a point with a first draft that I thought it was ready for a structural edit from a third party. This kept me from obsessing about little details and using that as a distraction from the more difficult bigger-picture thinking. I also lean rebel so word counts just...don't work. Think: Anne Lamott's Shitty First Draft. So exciting, though!
ReplyDeleteI love that planner! And I wish we had an Urban Outfitters near us- I need to find some stocking stuffers too.
ReplyDeleteDid you actually come up with 25 goals? I think I tried to do 24 for 24 last year, and petered out around nine. I agree that "finish a novel" is too vague- the first person I thought of to help is Nicole, and I see she already commented.
I got your card!!!! I'm sending mine out this week : )
I've never written a book, but I would imagine a "finished" book would be one that I would show readers? As in, here's my edited book, Beta Reader, will you give me some feedback? But maybe "finished" is even a step beyond that? Why is defining things so hard?
ReplyDeleteI've been slowly writing down 2025 goals as they appear to me and one of the things I'm going to work on is reading (or at least attempting to read) big books that I somehow feel like I *should* have read in my life: Moby Dick, Anna Karenina, A Little Life, The Road, Gone with the Wind, Crime and Punishment, and Middlemarch are some I have on my list. We'll see how that goes. Maybe 25 Books You Should Have Read? Maybe that goes against your ethos of trying to read new books.
I read Middlemarch, Moby Dick, and Frankenstein earlier this year and had a great time with all of them! (But I read basically no recent fiction; I figure if it's good it will rise to the top in years to come, and meanwhile there are too many classics to catch up on.)
DeleteSophie here- I’m also trying to finish a novel (with a full-time job, side hustle, blog, and two kids!). So I get it. One suggestion is to protect some time each week. So goal could be more of a process goal (write 30 mins, 4x per week), and the goal is to develop a sustainable rhythm where that happens. Then the book will progress as part of that goal. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI think I may go the other way from 25 for 25 since I sadly do not do well with concrete and rigid things. For example, I know what I want to do... Or do I?... I want to live as so that I don't feel bad to not have lived when I am on my death bed. And that means: travel, theater, experiences, books, family. That's pretty much it...
ReplyDeleteBut if I HAD to: 25 different hikes? 5 theater plays and 2 different hikes? Do weights 25 times? Read 25 books (I know you you'll surpass that..:))
I'm just starting to think about my 2025 goals, but I don't think I'm doing any 25 themes with mine. But I do know that it's super important to have concrete goals - so like maybe a word count goal would be hard with your busy life. Instead, you shoot for 20 minutes three times a week to start and if you can push up that goal as the year goes on, then go for it!
ReplyDeleteWhat has worked for me lately (not writing, but strength training) is knowing that I will work on it for 20 minutes before work 5 days a week, and my rest days are Thursday and Saturday. I do not have kids that need to be driven everywhere, and my mornings are completely my own, so this works for me. I suspect something similar might work for you, whether it is a word count or a specific amount of time. But knowing that you do it at this time every day, and when you will have a day off...maybe that will be helpful?
ReplyDeleteI always think of Nance when I see deflated inflatable decorations, I think she said they look like used condoms. LOL.