Sloooooower Saturday: Chiores

 One of the things that Dorothy does each week is clean up the shoes in the garage. We do not wear shoes in the house, and it is really convenient for everyone to leave their shoes in the garage, since we come in through the garage (into the laundry room) and there are too many of us and too many pairs of shoes to make leaving them in the laundry room sustainable. We have 2 shelved alls in the garage on either side of the door to the house: one for kid shoes and one for grown up shoes. Plus we have a boot matt and a carpeted space on each side for boots.

The shoes get SO MESSY because if one person doesn;t put their shoes on the shelf when they take them off, then no one does. 

Dorothy is supposed to clean the shoes up twice a week, once on Sunday and once on Tuesday which mirrors Cooper's take out the trash chore (he empties inside trashes on Sunday and puts the cans on the curb on Tuesday). On Tuesday this week, she tidied up the shoes before she left ofr school in the morning, but when she got home from dance that night, she kicked her Uggs off her feet, one flying under the snowblower and the other lodging itself under the stairs to the house, and pranced inside without a care in the world.

I was like why are you making a mess with the shoes when you are one who has to clean them up? And she shrugged and said what does it matter if they get messy-- I have to clean them up in a couple of days?

This is FOR SURE not my approach to chores. But you know what? It's not wrong, and offloading some tasks onto Dorothy and Cooper has given me the space to slow down and process that idea.

Now if only I cold talk her into wearing a coat.

 

5 on a Friday: awesome things this week

1. THIS CHILD'S COAT is just KILLING IT this fall, and I love it so much. It is even cute with my fave scarf and with dresses! (but when I took a small break from this coat, I found my favorite lip stain in the picket of one I haven't worn since last winter!!)

2. The kids and I saw the northern lights again! Including right over our house! Magical!

3. Dorothy and I discovered Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey, and Minnie has started reading to her siblings-- both delightful. 

4. Annabel is moving into Dorothy's room, LOL

5. Coop got a reverse 2.5 on 3M, meaning he has all 2.5's on 3M (front, back, inward, and reverse). Next up? A front THREE and a half (gulp).

Thoughtful Thursday: What's Saving My Life

 I listened to The Lazy Genius on my way to work the other day, and she had a fantastic list of what's saving her life right now. More than the list itself I was charmed by the idea of a list like this. And then! I noticed that both Sam and San have written theirs lately.  So! Here's mine:

1. Gimmee Some Oven no-bake energy bites. Kae raved about these, and I remembered them after not making for YEARS. Now they are back in rotation. I like how filling and also treaty they are. (I toast my coconut in the oven and use sun butter and chocolate chips and aim for 20 balls/recipe).

2. The NYT cooking app and its daily newsletter. So many great recipes coming right to my inbox!! We have made (and really liked) one pot pasta with ricotta and lemon, chicken and rice casserole,  rice krispie treats with chocolate and pretzels, egg muffins, pasta primavera, fluffy pumpkin pancakes, parmesan crusted salmon caesar salad, chile crisp fettuccine alfredo with spinach.

3. RUNNING. I feel like I have wasted YEARS not doing this.

4. No bed rotting. My alarm goes off, and I GET UP. It is wonderful (and terrible when the morning is cold).

5. Starbucks holiday drinks. I AM VERY BASIC, OK?

6.  Dental floss in the car (probably because I am always eating energy bits on the way to work).

7. Immediately grading student work. NOTHING IS PILING UP YOU GYS. It is amazing.

first snow!

first dive meet of the season!

run!

I have to know: what's saving your life?

Wednesday whines: fast fashion, so much fiber, not delaying healthy habits til the holidays are over

Is it fast fashion when I wear it forEVER tho?

The tl;dr of this first whine is that all my clothes are cheap. I am definitely choosing quantity over quality... ($20 Target juniors jeans and $12 Target clearance shoes in that pic)

Whine 2: eating like a grown up is a pain. I am still eating at least 30 grams of fiber (mostly from fruits and veggies) and between 75-90 grams of protein every day. Gah. SO MUCH FIBER.

Here's a sample day

Breakfast: Gimmee Some Oven energy bites (I use sun butter) and cuties and like to make about 20/recipe-- about 7 g protein and 8 g fiber

Lunch: Turkey sandwich w/ lettuce and mustard, giant apple, leftover roasted veggies-- about 30 g protein and 14 g fiber

Snack: Zero suagr Greek yogurt, granola, plums-- about 15 g protein and 4g fiber

Dinner: this (made ahead on Sunday) (I did make my own cream of soup recipe too), which is 23 g protein (yay!) and 3 g fiber (**whomp whomp**) Plus more leftover roasted veggies for another 6 g fiber (smaller portion than lunch)

Dessert: hot chocolate with Absolut vanilla vodka (NO NUTRITIONAL VALUE SHUT UP).

Totals: roughly 75 g of protein (should try to drink milk or something with breakfast) and 35 g fiber. It is getting much easier for me to meet these macros all the time w/o weighing and measuring, but I am not quite there yet.

Part of me wants to throw caution to the wind and drink peppermint mochas 24/7 because HOLIDAYS, but then! I listened to THIS PODCAST, and she talks about how you should meet eating habit goals BEFORE January because "the holidays" is like 2 meals-- maybe 4 tops if you split time between families. SO TRUE EMMA, SO TRUE. Bah humbug, but also, this is so smart. And! I have already had a mocha this season, so I am not being an extremist.

I am also going back to tracking calories (at maintenance) for a few weeks because I have started to eat random bites and tastes-- this is FINE. No food is off limits. But if I want to eat, say, chocolate covered pretzels, I should sit down and enjoy a portion of them. If I am having a mocha, then maybe I don't also need a sweet something mid afternoon and could have string cheese and carrots and cottage cheese instead-- stuff like that. If I want sweets after dinner, then I should have an energy bite or a Chobani flip yogurt (both are filling and also feel treaty) or a bowl of ice cream or some chocolate chips or whatever it is I want instead of eating bites of Minnie's ice cream and a cookie or two (or 7) on the fly as I pack lunches. The intentional enjoying of a dessert is SO MUCH MORE SATISFYING (hence my planning to enjoy a sweet drink tonight after kindergarten bedtime). I guess the whine here is that the old metabolism ain't what she used to be, and I have to really be intentional about nutrition if I don' want to just slide back into old habits that weren't serving me.

Time Track Tuesday: A Monday

 5:30 am: Time to leap from my bed and go for a run! It takes me a good 10 minutes to brush my teeth, put on my sweats, get dog poop bags, drink some water, etc.

6:20 am: 20 minute upper body strength work out on Apple Fitness Plus 

6:40 am: Pack lunches at water bottles in back packs for Dorothy, Cooper, and Minnie Put Jack's lunch and a Bubblr on the dryer where he can grab it. Wake Jack up so he can go for a run. Lucky Annabel gets to start her day with an hour of running,

6:45: Minnie is awake! She brushes her teeth, puts on the clothes she laid out on Sunday for the entire week. I do her hair in her requested style, and she eats breakfast (right now, she wants grapes, a piece of cheese, a peanut butter sandwich and a Danimal, plus her Kirkland kids vitamins). I wipe down all the bathrooms and make my bed and Minnie's, start some laundry, and help various people with various parts of their breakfast, plu drink SO MUCH COFFEE. 

7:25: Time to talk Minnie to schoooooool!

7:35: Make Jack a breakfast to go and  sequester myself in my bathroom with MOAR coffee to do my hair and makeup

7:55: Check in with Dorothy and Cooper as the do their final preparations. I have to be suuuuuper nonchalant about it, but sometimes Dorothy accepts help with her hair. Putting on her socks is sometimes a trigger for her, but if I time myself right, I can find a matching pair for her (she and Cooper wear the exact same frigging socks, and sometimes, the laundry fairy messes up putting them away equitably) and have them appear at the right moment. Dorothy can get distracted looking for them and then start primping again still sockless and it's a whole Thing.

8:05: Walk Dorothy and Cooper to the bus. Annabel enjoys this, and it's fun to walk by Minnie's classroom. She bangs on the window and brings friends to wave to us.

8:20: Crunch time for me-- I throw on my clothes and pack my work bag and really really really need to be IN THE CAR DRIVING AWAY by 8:35 AT THE LATEST.

9:00: Aaaaaaaah, I am in my quiet office where I check what I need to do in class Monday and Tuesday, answer emails, and delight in my solitude.

9:55: Teach my great speakers and speeches class. Elizabeth Warren's 2019 Washing Square Rally speech is on tap as an example of public memory-- both the social imaginary she tried to change with her selfie lines and pinkie promises (ladies can be president!) and .the way she retold feminist labor history in the speech itself. Class was great!

11:00: Meet with my awesome TA

11:30: WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK. On tap Monday was a good mix of grading and responding to students and also prep for spring. I ate my packed lunch at my desk-- an arugula salad with chicken breast, beets, and goat cheese, plus an apple and string cheese.

1:00: Office hours. I only had one visitor, so I kept my work streak alive and worked through 40 research paper proposals for my Tuesday class, all the weekly assignments in my Monday class, and recording grades for Monday classes's recent blue book exam.

3:00: Walk on campus and listen to podcasts. I try to take a walk before office hours, too, but it was not in the cards this day.

3:45: Meeting prep

4:00: Weekly TA staff meeting for the big course I direct

6:00: Finish up a few more things before heading to the pool to collect Minnie from Ben

7:15: Arrive home with Minnie. We walk the dog. Minnie watches TV while I eat dinner (I WAS SO HUNGRY) (I had leftover salmon and caesar salad in a bag from Costco plus an apple with peanut butter and a couple energy bites). I also had to do some housework which actually made me really mad, since Ben worked from home all day.

8:00 Minnie bedtime, a little later than usual, but I stayed after my meeting a little later than usual.

8:30: Ben, Coop, Jack all home. Jack has dinner. Coop gets ready for bed. Ben makes sure he is ready to go to Peoria in the morning. A final dog walk.

9:00: Dorothy is home from dance and ready to crash. She has a giant snack and she and I both take showers.

10:00 Couch rotting. We are watching Sticks. We actually have like 4 shows going and sort of drop in on them randomly, which doesn't work super well for me, but also I AM TIRED, so I mostly just fall asleep snoring with my mouth open most nights and call it watching TV.

Maladroit Monday

 Let me tell you about the most ridiculous, bungling day we had on Thursday.

I had a department meeting, but Ben was out of town, and Jack works on Thursdays AND I drive the first leg of the dance run, plus Coop has diving. AND to make matters just a smidge more complex, he also had a check up at his pediatrician's office. (And you guys speaking of maladroit-- I scheduled 4 kid check ups this month, one a week-- what the actual eff was I even thinking about?)

But! The ped's office is RIGHT BY MY OFFICE, which is also RIGHT BY WHERE COOPER DIVES. The wheels started spinning! Especially when Cooper asked me if he could skip the whole day of school (he feels like we owe him a day off school because he thought he was missing most of a day to get his passport for an international dive meet, but then there was a snafu at the post office and Ben dropped him back at school after an aborted attempt and THEN the club hosting the Montreal meet cancelled, so he didn't even need  a passport.) and Minnie's pick up seemed less complex with the timing of his appointment if I didn't also have to pick him up at school.

SO. I asked another mom to drive my leg of the dance trip, and Cooper, Minnie, and I headed to the doc together with a packed dinner for Minnie and Cooper to eat during my meeting. I figured I could do the check up, park close to the pool, walk to my office and get them set up in there while I went to the meeting, and then escort Coop to practice a little late after that and take Minnie home. The other mom offered to also drive the kids home (YAY!), and Ben was planning to be back in town in time to drive the dive carpool home.

We picked Minnie up from school a smidge early, loaded the car with my work bag, Coop's diving bag, a bunch of craft stuff and books to keep Minnie busy in my office and at the doc, snacks for Minnie, and picnic dinners for both kids.

On the way there, I noticed that we still hadn't done our pre-visit questionnaires, so Cooper filled those out while we drove, and we made it ONE MINUTE EARLY. 

Only to discover that his check up was on FRIDAY. The next day. It had been wrong on my calendar THE WHOLE TIME.

We were on campus with an hour to kill before my meeting **head desk** AND I had to do the whole charade again THE NEXT DAY (minus dance and diving thank goodness).

We saw some dinosaurs instead.

Cooper, still laughing when we got back in the car from the doctor's reception area.

I made THIS for dinner, and everyone loved it-- so easy (served it with a salad and bread)-- highly recommend.

Pic of the week

 Here are the shirts I ordered for everyone who will be around our Thanksgiving table (us and Ben's folks). Can you guess who will be repping which dish?

Slow Down Saturday: Just one kid

 Last night, we did the weirdest thing. We took ONE SINGLE KID out to dinner. It was so great Basically like taking NO KIDS. I want to go back to 2006 us and tell them that one kid is not hard. But, to be fair, we have never just had a single 5 year-old with totally self-sufficient siblings. Anyway, it was a delight.

Also that is CIDER in those wine glasses, and it is DELICIOUS.

Also also Minnie had a grilled cheese fries, and ice cream-- basically an elevated Culvers experience.

(Jack is visiting his bro; Dorothy was at a bday party, and Cooper went to watch the HS girls sectional dive meet (his club teammates finished one and two and got state bids!)).

5 ona Friday: Opening Lines

 1. This blog:  This Just In: Baby Harry Is Here!

2. My dissertation: In January 1947, the Planned Parenthood Federation of America convened its twenty-sixth annual meeting to tackle what the organization termed “The Parent Problem.”

3. The book I started writing YEARS ago and can't finish: 

4. A poem from 2019

5. Another book I started YEARS ago and didn't finish:

Thoughtful Thursday

 Things on my mind:

SPRING SEMESTER.

I mean, ok, that's just one thing, but IT IS REALLY SO MANY THINGS.

The biggest thing I am obsessing about is a new-to-me class I am teaching-- the first time since 2008, when I didn't exactly teach the class but was a TA for it in grad school (at least until Jack was born when I basically peaced out for the end of the semester).

There are 3 TAs and 240 students. I HAVE A LOT OF PREP TO DO, is what I am saying, you guys.

And plus also! I am teaching my 150-person lecture on 19th-21st century feminist campaigns and revolutions. Yes, this class exists already, but the exams need a facelift in light of the age of AI, and the major assignments do, too,

I spent all day on the new class yesterday, and I like where it's going. BUT IT NEEDS TO GO THERE FAST. I also need to just lock myself in a room for like 12 hours so I can just workworkworkworkwork all at once and not have to keep stopping and reminding myself what the hell I was doing the next time I sit down at my computer.

Did I mention we decorated the yard? Ben is very into my new inflatable obsession. J/K. He hates it.

SUPER MOON

whiny wednesday

•  I slept on the couch the other night because my sleep was in the toilet (**shakes fist at universe**), and OF COURSE I took a couple melatonin 3mg tabs. And then I read THIS

• Minnie had no school Monday and Tuesday, so she worked from home with Ben on Monday and came to campus with me on Tuesday. It was fun and cute (see pics below), but also? THIS IS A REALLY BUSY TIME IN THE SEMESTER and I was unprepared to get so little done. It was on my calendar, but it was most definitely NOT on my radar, if that makes sense.

• We gave Dorothy and Cooper Green Light debit cards and connected them with chores on the GL app, and they are doing their chores (which is super helpful, actually) but then not marking them off on the app, so I have to go in and pay them manually and it's low key driving me batty.

• It's hockey and basketball season, making dropping Cooper off at the pool right next to the place where hockey and basketball games are played FUCKING TERRIBLE. Also all of my terrible drives now happen in the dark (**shakes fist at time change**).

CUTE, THO:

she held up this picture of all of us when Jack was a baby and said "you look like you, but dad looks like a KID"

She had a row to herself

Maybe under the screen was not the best place to play?

Tiny college kid

Time Track Tuesday: A Sunday

 We had a lovely Sunday that's pretty representative of our weekends generally (although this  coming weekend we have a bunch of stuff going on including an out of town dive meet both days).

7am: Minnie came stomping into our room and woke us up. I asked her to turn on my coffee, which she did, and then she asked if we could watch Bob's Burgers-- omg I love that show!

8:30am: Ben and I went for a run

(said goodby to Harry, cleaned up breakfast, colored a Thanksgiving tablecloth with Minnie for a few minutes; ate some oatmeal)

10am-1pm-ish: We did a house refresh and ate lunch

(dog walk; got dressed)

2pm: I went to Marshalls, World Market, Michaels, and Homegoods in search of Thanksgiving table things, and you guys! It was MOSTLY CHRISTMAS! What happened to Thanksgiving?! I also stopped by Target to grab a sweatshirt and a couple of long sleeved dresses for Minnie.

4pm: I raided the kids' Halloween candy to make cookie dough while Ben made dinner

5:30-6:30pm: Dinner and Out of the Loop

6:30-7:30pm: Dinner clean up and actual cookie baking

(dog walk, sitting around, etc)

8-9pm: More Out of the Loop

(shower)

9:45-10:30: Couch rotting with Ben, watched The Chair Company

Muddiest Point Monday

 When I planned my NaBloPoMo this year, I thought I would do Money Monday posts.

But! There are people who suddenly do not have food stamps to feed themselves and their kids, and there are tens of thousands of workers who are newly laid off in time for the holiday season, and my own university is making budget adjustments in the face of fewer federal dollars coming in-- and me complaining about money is just THE WRONG VIBE right now.

Sooooo I think I will just do some sort of alliterative something that's on my mind to start the weeks this month.

And right now? It is Wednesday. Wednesday is the day when the wheels fall off my mental health bus and I turn into someone I wouldn't want to be around.

I gotta figure out how to make Wednesdays easier and more fun.

I think the trouble starts in the early morning hours when I decide not to get up and exercise because I hate getting up in the dark and think I will be in a better mood on Wednesday night if I sleep later and exercise when the kids go to school. I think this might be a false story since I am tired AF at night anyway, and not having those extra 90 or so minutes in the morning makes me feel like I am scrambling to keep up all day.

After school is when the shit really hits the fan, though, because it is our second of three days to do the dance and dive run, and Minnie is sort of over it, which I understand. I am going to try leaving the house earlier to get the big kids so Minnie can play at the park across from their school for 10 or so minutes. See! I am a fun mom! I think she and I also need to listen to audio books in the car again. We listened to the entire Ramona series last year, and I think we will dive into Roald Dahl this year. Books FOR SURE make the car ride more fun, and we should have started listening again before now-- not sure how I forgot about that.

We usually do breakfast for dinner on Wednesday nights, and I see no reason to change this. Last week, I made these and these, and they were such a hit, I think I will do them again. Bonus! We had leftovers for breakfasts for a couple of days.

I also think I need to take a shower earlier in the evening-- maybe before I go pick up Dorothy and her friend at dance. That way I could actually have time to hang out with Jack for a bit?

Wednesday is really hard because when I am exhausted and ready to check out for the night, Cooper comes home from diving and makes (a big, messy) dinner. Then I go get Dorothy, and she eats dinner and also has homework, and it's already 9pm! But! Dorothy and Cooper are both gone for about 12 hours on Wednesdays, so I want them to be able to enjoy themselves for he tiny sliver of time they're home and actually awake, which means I need to not be a shrew, at the very least.

Maybe Jack and I need to watch a fun show every Wednesday night, and maybe I could find a tea I like or something like that to look forward to as a little closing Wednesday night ritual as we veg on the couch.

Another random thing: Ben is taking over lunches for Mondays and Fridays, and we usually do Tuesday lunches together. This is great because I used to do all the lunches (and activity dinners which we pack with lunches, and now we are looking at a more even split, which should help with general overwhelm.

Other thoughts for me? How can I make a long busy day more fun?

Costumes for school

And ToTing

Pic of the Week

 Harry took his baby sister trick or treating, so Ben and I could sit on the driveway with a big old Solo stove fire. We handed out 60 full-size candy bars, plus 40 shots of Fireball and 3 Costco-sized bags of candy. And a box of ring pops. BUSY NIGHT.

(Also all I ate the whole day was Butterfingers and Fireball (lots of both) and YIKES.)

(Also also we hosted seniors in HS, 8th graders and 7th graders the junior highers all over night. YIKES AGAIN).

October: What I Read

 Turns out that listening to scary audio books (even by fave authors) and jogging solo before the sun comes up DO NOT MIX for me, even in a spooky month (especially in a spooky month?). As you can see from the list below, though, I made it work

Skippable

The Bachelorette Party by Camilla Sten: Meh *2025

Such a Good Mom by Julia Spiro: A quick read while Minnie was at gymnastics. *2025

Meditations for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman: I liked him better in his other book and also on Before Breakfast.

The First Gentleman by Bill Clinton and James Patterson: Meh. But a quick and entertaining meh. *2025

Stop me if You've Heard This One by Kristen Arnett: This book needed a better editor. *2025 **Audio

Good Reads

Tranquility by Tuesday by Laura Vanderkam: SO MANY good tips and gentle reframing nudges-- loved this! *Audio

107 Days by Kamala Harris: Read by the author! *2025 **Audio

Don't Let Him In by Lisa Jewell: Her last couple have not satisfied me, but this one was TERRIFIC. Too creepy for early AM exercise listening, though *2025 **Audio

Sharp Force by Patricia Cornwell: This is the 29th Kay Scarpetta book, and I have read EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM, and I am TIRED of Cornwell making up characters from Kay's past to suddenly be prominent in her life. I have known Dr. Scarpetta for THIRTY YEARS and I would remember these GD people if they were really important. Still, it was creepy and well plotted, per usual. *2025 **Audio

Better Reads

Katabasis by RF Kuang: This is my least favorite of hers, but it was still really good. Academia is hell. Noted. **2025 **Kindle

The Impossible Fortune by Richard Osman: The gang is BACK! Loved it. *2025 **Audio

Vera, or Faith by Gary Shteyngart: THIS IS LOVELY and sad and funny-- a weird child narrator, and the author does a pitch perfect job of explaining the world through her eyes. **2025

BOTY Potential

Actress of a Certain Age by Jeff Hiller: Loved him in Somebody Somewhere; loved this book. He reads it, and it is hilarious. *2025 *Audio

Culpability by Bruce Holsinger: THIS IS SO GOOD!! **2025 *Kindle

Wreck by Catherine Newman: The most perfect book about middle age. (Read Sandwich first.) **2025 **Kindle 

The Correspondent by Virginia Evans: OH WOW. I THINK THIS IS THE BOOK OF THE YEAR. **2025 *Kindle

BTM 16

Book books: 5

Kindle books: 4

Audio books: 7

2025 books: 15

BTY 157

Book books: 84

Kindle books: 13

Audio books: 66

2025 books: 103