More whining. (Also happy 46th to Ben!)

 I am in a reading funk, you guys! In an everything funk (as I mentioned the other day), but also in a reading funk. I can't find a book to hold my interest, and I have only listened to ONE audio book all month. (But it was a really good one). I just sort of default to scrolling and worrying and snapping at everyone and thinking I don't have enough time to read.

IT'S BIRTHDAY WEEEEEEK over here. Ben is 46 today, and Dorothy turns 12 on Friday (next month is Jack; I am in May. Harry is in June. We take July off then celebrate Minnie and Annabel in August, and Coop turns 14 in September). 

Dorothy is getting a new bed (she already knows about it because it is sitting in its box in the garage), but she is also getting a vanity she has not seen, and a bookshelf, lamp, and nightstand she does not have nay idea she's getting. Plus a whole bunch of throw pillows, a throw blanket, sheets, and 2 new duvet covers. AND I am taking her to our favorite outdoor mall for a shopping spree (the day after her bday because she has a dance comp on the actual day) where I imagine we will buy things at Kendra Scott, Lulu, and Lush, plus also Sephora. But! I kind of feel bad that except for furniture, she doesn't have anything to open on the big day. That's stupid, right? It's just that the floors and painting won't be done until the end of next week, so she won't get to really use her new stuff. But also, she is getting a HUGE gift. I'm def over thinking it.

This yard made me do a double take on my dog walk yesterday-- HOW UNSAFE does this look?? So many things could go wrong.

I figured that a birthday cake on Thursday and a birthday cake on Saturday needed a homemade chocolate pie (I got a graham cracker crust from the store because I am a cheater) in the middle, right?

How cute are the laces on these shoes? I love them so much!!

I am loving an early spring, but geez those early dark walks are dark.

I am excited to celebrate Ben with cake, sushi, and Veuve tonight and to fete Ben and Dorothy at our favorite birthday bar tomorrow. And then the first dance comp of the season and a day of shopping! Can't wait.

Funky

 That's me. I'm funky. In a funk. 

• Stuck in the doom scroll. 
• Annoyed that I have to make different consumption choices that are so far really difficult in terms of time and also more expensive.
• Annoyed with myself for the annoyance because, um, privileged much?
• Nervous about the cost of groceries. I can imagine how hard is is to be food insecure right now, and I am just, generally, really concerned.
•  Worried about **checks notes** everything (including norovirus which one member of the household currently has and -- pandemic silver lining-- thanks to total isolation and assigning that person their own bathroom-- the rest of us has a teeny chance of avoiding? ONLY A TEENY CHANCE and timed just as Ben leaves for work-- we are soooo @#$%*&) (at least a geopolitical nightmare scenario is less pressing when your head is in the toilet?)

Some good things:

Dorothy had a birthday sleepover! They did not sleep! But they were VERY CUTE and did lots of cute slumber party things like braid hair and giggle and eat pizza. Also Ben took them to an escape room and arcade because he is a saint.

Jack had another amazing forensics weekend-- his second in a row winning SOS (special occasion speaking) and taking second place in prose reading. Plus he was in Eau Claire, so he got the fun of an overnight trip, and he got to meet Harry's girlfriend and see his dorm room. (This season, Jack has placed second twice and won twice in SOS-- and he has also had a 4th-place finish in that event-- he is KILLING IT)

Coop had a Milwaukee dive meet where he had a personal record in both 3m and 1m and is all qualled up for AAU nats (starts the USA diving qual process in the next couple months). He is 13 and has to compete in the 14-15 age group because of his late bday (which is an early bday for other things-- September is awkward), so some of the kids in that group are 2 years older than he is-- a big difference in your early teens. TL; DR he's awesome and got second both days.

Thanks to better shopping practices, we did not buy an Amazon nightmare-to-assemble vanity for Dorothy and used a furniture store in our town instead. I also bought the random accents for her room from At Home ( a google search tells me their parent company did not make donations to political campaigns, but individuals did, and their politics resonate with mine), and we bought the bedding, accent furniture, and lamps from IKEA, plus the bed itself from Costco, where we will also get a mattress after we do the floor. Ben decided to replace the carpet with laminate planks, and he is going to do the labor himself! It was HARD to resist the Target siren song, but we also found a couple of pictures at a thrift store-- YAY! (That I think were originally from Hobby Lobby, so that's... less of a win. But! We are saving them from a landfill and the thrift store supports local food banks, so still in the win ballpark.)

A note on shopping with my politics: THIS SMACKS OF THE MOST PRIVILEGED FORM OF PRIVILEGE. If you have choices in this economy, you have privilege. And yes! This means there is probably even more of an impetus to spend wisely. BUT ALSO. So many people are finding their spending choices constrained by the economy-- so a boycott might not look or be as effective as we want it to be.

BUT WHAT TO DO LONG TERM for my shopping needs? Getting rid of Amazon is pretty easy. I can buy my Subscribe and Saves from Costco and find the knee-jerk stuff I want to order elsewhere or just not buy it. Not totally sure about Prime streaming, Kindle, and Audible because HAPPINESS. Audible is my favorite/listening to books makes me really happy. Yes, I get most of my audio books through Libby, but I like a new release once a month. Minnie watches stuff on Prime, but I am going to see if we can slowly just switch our alliance to other streaming services and cancel then. I like my Kindle, and I like buying a new book a month to read on it, too. I am not sure I am ready to switch e-readers or give it up altogether. 

I don't know how to quit Whole Foods. Yes, we belong to a local co-op, but it is EVEN MORE EXPENSIVE than WF, and it does not deliver. Trader Joe's is less expensive than the co-op and WF, but it also DOES NOT DELIVER. Gah. (Obviously I can quit WF, but it just sucks that I-- a regular person-- should have to settle for a less convenient way to buy real food and billionaires can't just stop being greedy, you know? Like, I am such a good little capitalist, and I had a million babies to feed the machine, and I can't just get my coffee and alfalfa sprout delivered to my doorstep? **shakes fist at world**)

Target is a real bummer, too, and I am still thinking about where else to buy my faves.  Non-Target Ulta seems good for most stuff and maybe Grove.co for Mrs. Meyers cleaning stuff? BUT. Would it be better to shop at Target for these things because real people in my real town work real jobs and make real money at Target? (I could make that same argument for WF, but I can go to other brick and mortar stores in my town instead, so those are better, obvi-- I am just trying to figure out the time commitment). It's not hard to give up buying cheap clothes and stuff I don't need for my house, but the nitty gritty every day stuff is giving me pause. Also! Fed Ex is a brand to avoid, so this makes online shopping more fraught, AND ALSO! I want to support real humans working real jobs-- automation and the increased use of AI at breakneck pace is a labor rights issue, too. And! I want to support places that operate in my own purple state, not big old warehouses strategically located in red states to mess with the electoral map.

THERE IS MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE when you make consumer choices, is what I am saying. And some of my beef is spoiled whining-- but some of it is a real thought-out consideration of where my money is actually going. 

5 on a Friday: A Whole Lotta Nothing

 What a week! she said, flummoxed to be writing on a FRIDAY AFTERNOON when the last time she checked it was MONDAY.

It is me.

I am she.

Goodness.

1. A big week for Minnie-- she was CHILD! OF! THE! WEEEEEK! in her 4K class.

2. I really could not decide which shoes paired best with my pleather skirt, so I brought them both to work.

3. This cute pie took a lot of wlaks.

4. Minnie and I hit up JoAnn for some crafts before the iconic store goes out of biz.

5. Dorothy and I went to Plato's Closet and she got a Free People skort (pictured) and some Altar'd State shorts with tulle accents for like thirty bucks. So fun!

She also loved her trio costume that she got a pair of the jams for home use.

Nothing much happened this week, and yet. Woof. Exhausting. Just being a human in the world who cares about other humans-- it's a lot.

What a weekend!

 I LOVE Dorothy's dance team dress rehearsal. It is so fun to see all the dances and have time to practice hair and makeup (Dorothy did her own makeup!!!!! This was awesome!!). It's also so great for the kids to get to practice on a stage-- especially for the kids Dorothy's age and younger because the dance just feels different the first time the kids perform it outside a studio. The teens and seniors could dance anywhere and still look like pros, but the minis and juniors need a second, you know?

We were SUCH NOOBS in 2022! We were sans DANCE BAG in 2023! We sort of had our ish together last year.

And Sunday? ALMOST OLD PROS. I did wind up with Minnie for 4 hours and had nothing to entertain her with except a Little People horse and a car wash Little People guy that I found in my car. She and Ben popped by to watch a couple dances and bring us lunch, and she stayed-- and he brought her NOTHING. It turned out to be fine-- she danced the whole time.

Once again, my dance mom job entailed bringing body glue because I am the mom for a hip hop dance where everyone has knee socks, and the style guide admonishes them to keep their socks up with glue. I did a great job assembling the group, checking their costumes, handing around my glue, snapping a pic, and -- as I was VERY CLEARLY INSTRUCTED-- standing in the back center of the theater and taking a landscape-oriented video to post on the group app. WELL, one of the kids accosted me hours later for my BUTT GLUE. I was like erm well it's BODY glue when I gave it to her, and she goes WELL I AM GOING TO USE IT FOR MY BUTT. And then she brought it back with NO LID and said THIS DID NOT HAVE A LID WHEN YOU GAVE IT TO ME by way of thanks. LOL. I bought a new one immediately and put that one in a ziploc bag-- that's the one for lending now. (The kids in junior jazz used the glue, too, to keep their skirts up, and I ordered a mega pack of alcohol wipes as well because the glue leaves a sticky spot and then lint from other costumes gets stuck on it, and the results an be alarming, as I discovered when Dorothy got read for her lyrical dance, which the group performs sans tights.)

I realized that I take dance a bit too seriously as I messaged the tap teacher right after the run-through to book a private lesson for Dorothy who claimed that her shoe fell off mid-dance but really looked like she would not know the choreography if she met it on the street.

I did not do a good job of taking pics of Dorothy in all her costumes, even though I promised myself I would this year.

I totally missed the dance iI am mom for (LOL), which is a hip hop large group. She's all the way on the right on the front (and, I think, the person responsible for the whole dance being too far to the right, so that's cool)

Here's her hip hop super group look:

Hip hop trio

Tap

(love those costumes, BTW, and Minnie rocked the hat:

Lyrical

Jazz

February: What I Read

Save the Cat! Writes a Novel by Jessica Brody: This was SO HELPFUL! But books like this are never really enjoyable IMO.

Silver Girl by Elin Hilderbrand: LOVE IT, of course. Probably not her best book, but still wildly entertaining to listen to while walking the dog and cleaning the house. **Audio

Definitely Better Now by Ava Robinson: Fun to read but pretty forgettable.

The Last One at the Wedding by Jason Rekulak: I liked this because I like this guy. Again, though, probably not his best (that would be The Impossible Fortress) **Audio

Change of Heart by Jodi Picoult: Got this from a LFL and loooooooooved it.

A Serial Killer's Guide to Marriage by Asia Mackay: This book was cute, and I liked the characters, but the plot was Very Simple, and the book was about 100 pages too long. **2025

A Killing Cold by Kate Alice Marshall: I liked this a ton-- twisty and entertaining. **Audio **2025

We Solve Murders by Richard Osman: LOVED THIS! It is a charming, funny, delight of a book. **Audio

 The President Is Missing by Bill Clinton and James Patterson: This was a random skip-the-line on Libby, and IT IS SO GOOD everyone should read it and imagine we live in John Duncan's America. There's a super preachy section at the end undoubtedly written by Clinton that was panned by reviewers in 2018 but that I really liked listening to in 2025. **Audio

Onyx Storm by Rebecca Yarros: Listen, these books are very poorly written and also AMAZING. Don't judge. **Audio **2025

The Sequel by Jean Hanff Korelitz: OH MY GOD SO GOOD. I did question my mental status though, because I apparently forgot that this book was a literal sequel and thought that I was like a master of inference because I intuited the whole back story. Only, I didn't. I READ IT IN THE PREVIOUS BOOK.

BTM 11:

Book books: 5

Kindle books: 0

Audio books: 6

BTY 28:

Book Books: 13

Kindle books: 2

Audio books: 12

2025 books: 4

5 on a Friday: Old Lady Things

 1. I do not understand jeans these days. First of all, the length. What is happening, and why do we all want  to look like Cooper after a growth spurt?  I do not understand exactly where they should be hitting me on my ankle and how much of my dorky white tube socks (another thing I obviously do not understand) should be showing.  And! Another thing! Why are they so tight in the tummy and baggy in the legs, and how can I make this cut flatter me? Maybe I cannot? 

2. I cannot EVER drink ANYTHING with caffeine after 10 am EVER AGAIN. And yet! I ALWAYS think a post-lunch coffee will be a good idea. IT NEVER IS. (Literally you guys it is 2?55 pm on Thursday and I am DRINKING COFFEE my goodness will I ever learn?)

3.  I suddenly have, um, A LOT of facial hair. WHISKERS YOU GUYS. WHISKERS. I bleached them and then went for a massage so I have ZERO MAKEUP on in this pic, but MUCHO whiskers and chicken neck.

4. Is there anything more old lady than jazzing up a salad kit for taco Tuesday? My mom used to say "doctoring up."

 5. Walking the dog in this fit when the sun rises early enough for the whole neighborhood to see.

February Goals Check In

 1. Live performance: Something Rotten at the high school. This show was a delight, and both Dorothy and Minnie love dit. The orchestra was excellent! The choreography was great! The singing was terrific! Jack was the rail operator manning the curtain and anything else that needed to be moved with pulleys-- he was fabulous, too! (Only 1-4 more live performances to go!)

Ben's school advertised their drama camp in the program!

It really stressed me out that we did not have seats on an aisle, but Minnie was hooked on the show!

She left Jack a note on his poster, too

2. February restaurant: Steenbock's on Orchard. I am on the other side of campus usually and have never been here before. Will I be back? Hard to say.

3. Eating more veggies: it has been so fun to think of ways to ramp up my veggie consumption and to focus on an eating goal that's additive. I eat a green salad at lunch and dinner, and I have started adding veggies to my bagel and lox (sprouts, spinach, sliced tomato, cucumber)

4. Money: WE DID A BAD JOB. I have noticed that when we have extra expenses on the horizon (SPRING TUITION BILL, PERHAPS), we just spend like fools instead of, I don't know, being a little cheaper since there's money to be spent? WHY ARE WE THE WAY WE ARE? But, I had to buy 2 pairs of Nike Air Force shoes for Dorothy, plus about $100 of makeup and assorted other things plus Valentines for all, plus Coop got some Uggs. AP test fees were due as well as tuition at Eau Claire-- just lots of things that added up fast and made me feel like saving was a fool's errand, so I bought more stuff.

On the food waste front, we made some serious progress. It does not appear that we bought much less food, but, except for Vday week, we ate at home for just about every meal, and we demolished our fresh produce.

5. I forgot a day of Connections! I had a 47 day streak! Bah!

6. I BARELY WROTE in February like AT ALL. This is a huge happiness stumbling block. I had some major Work Stuff going on that took up basically all of my extra brain power. I did read Save the Cat Writes a Novel, a book that Nicole recommended, and it was fantastic. I took notes, even!

7. Albums: Alessia Cara Love and Hyperbole and The Lumineers Automatic. These were not great, but I did love the new Bonnie Prince Billy, Lily Hiatt, Kathryn Mohr, and Benjamin Booker albums from the very last days of last month.

8. Kindle: I swear to god, I will read the new Anne Tyler before Friday...

9. Cookies: How have I never made PB cup cookies before?!?!

10. Date: The closest we came to this was sushi on the couch for Vday... Harry is having chest pains (booooooooo) and is coming home to see his doc, so maybe we will also avail oursleves of his babysitting services (Jack is a BUSY GUY)...

11. Yoga: I hurt my shoulder doing Adriene unsupervised, but I cannot find a class that works for our unruly schedule, so I took a break. Also! I FELL off the bench in the laundry room that I was balancing on to reach some stainless steel polish in a basket on a high shelf, and I hurt both my ankle and my tailbone (which I briefly thought was broken). Also! My fall made a huge crash, and I was sprawled out on the laundry room rug on my stomach, and Annabel was the only member of the fam who came to investigate. Coop even waked right by the room and didn't even raise an eyebrow at his mom helpless on the floor. NEAT. So, I took an even longer break and then decided to just wait for NEW MONTH ENERGY.

12. Book: The Killing Cold by Kate Alice Marshall-- this was a fun one to figure out.

Figs 2/19-2/25

 IT IS GETTING HARD TO STAY OPTIMISTIC and avoid the doom scroll. Glad to be noticing this week's harvest.

Wednesday, February 19:

Minnie watching team dance (this was actually super cute-- the kids were finishing up a jazz tech class, and anyone with a special (of any style) got to show it to the group. Dorothy and one of her trio mates were in the class, and they REALLY wanted to show their dance even though they were missing their third member, who was in ballet next door. The ballet class took a water break just as Dorothy and her friend started the dance, and the third trio member heard the music and zoomed into the studio, joining the hip hop trio in her black leotard, pink tights, and tight bun. Everyone cheered-- it was darling).

Thursday, February 20:

Quiet library time

Friday, February 21:

Coming upstairs from my worksout and finding this sight in my bed:

Saturday, February 22:

Preschool playdate

Sunday, February 23:

Snowperson!

Monday, February 24:

Covergirl lip stain

Tuesday, February 25:

This book saving our afternoon slog in the car

Money Monday: Things I am Cheap About

 When we built our house one million years ago, we both clammed up during our meeting with the electrician. He told us that we had a few places in the house that needed more recessed lighting, and he thought we could have more outdoor outlets. In 2011, we both made about half of what we make right now, and we had just GUTTED our savings account to build a house, were expecting our third baby, and could not sell our condo that we purchased at the height of the housing bubble, so we were preparing to pay a new mortgage, plus most of an old mortgage offset by a renter. We absolutely WOULD NOT spend one more cent on the house, WHICH IS WHY WE HAVE DIMMER SWITCHES THAT TURN NOTHING ON, GIANT HOLIDAY LIGHT EXTENSION CORDS, and TWO REALLY REALLY DARK CORNERS that are not actually conducive to lamps, it turn out.

But this a common spending habit with us-- we will be extravagant about some things and then completely cheap about other things-- usually things that are inexpensive to begin AND ALSO would be great additions to our lives. What a terrible combo! Like, all those lights and outlets would have cost less than a thousand dollars and are WAY MORE EXPENSIVE NOW.

I was thinking about this today when I got an ad for a really cool magnetic bobby pin holder that would solve SO MANY dance bag problems and thought immediately I will not spend eleven more dollars on dance. Even though I will spend MORE THAN THAT replacing lost hair pins every week of the season, probably. And dance is so pricey, WHO EVEN CARE about $11? It makes no sense.

I asked Ben if he could think of an example of this habit, and he said OUTLETS, but we do it all the time with vacation planning (that one more stop that breaks the camel's back),  grocery shopping ($600 for the cart but ABSOLUTELY NOT on that $7 bottle of salad dressing). 

Am I alone on this? Do you ever cheap out on the silly details?

SPEAKING OF HAIRPINS!

Dorothy has to have a mid ballet bun (mid like height, not mid like result because as you can see, this bun is AWESOME) for her lyrical dance this year, and we are not supposed to use a donut, which is the only way I have ever done a ballet bun. But I watched a video and NAILED IT (with the use of 10000 hairpins now scattered everywhere with no magnet dish to contain them).

5 on a Friday: boy am I a sucker for kids

 Man, I am lucky that I didn't end up with more than 5 kids (lucky only because I don't think I could afford more than 5 kids-- CAN I REALLY EVEN AFFORD FIVE?) because I LOVE KIDS SO MUCH, Perhaps I should quit my job and become a preschool teacher. Anyway, here are 5 ways I know I am a sucker for kids.

1. No matter how stressful the morning was, as soon as I drop them all off and am settling down to do some work, I spend at least 5 minutes looking at pictures I took of them during that stressful morning and thinking how cute they are.

this outfit tho YOU GUYS

2. Ditto NIGHT TIME. Like I can be SO OVER EVERYONE and the entire world and think I might explode if I have to listen to one more voice tell me one more thing and then! As soon as I tuck them in bed, I am nostalgic for the day that I am still living and as soon as they are asleep, I start basically stalking them and thinking how darling they are. Last night, during this time, Annabel snuck into Dorothy's room and then woke her up, and neither one wanted to be parted overnight, but they were parted because one of them pees in the other one's room. I will let you figure out who is who in this scenario.

3. They are my style inspos

4. And, conversely, I  shamelessly project my own style on them 

literally my sweatshirt, also my fave hair style. and I have that same purse.

5. I don't really have a number five except for you know, like, sacrificing all of my potential and ambition to wait on them hand and foot for the last 18 years, but that's not a snappy little bullet point, and plus also, every mom does that, so it's not special, and anyway they pay me back by letting me link their library cards to my Libby account and place dozens of hlds at once, so there's that.

In closing-- this is what Jack wore to take out the trash in negative 5 degree weather:

it's the mittens for me.

F.I.G.s 2/11-2/18

 Tuesday, 2/11: A second double-batch of cookie dough in 5 days. How long will this one last? And also, how lucky am I to have such a simple, joyful way to take care of everyone?

Wednesday, 2/12: Our own snow day

Thursday, 2/13: Minnie's 4.5 birthday

Friday 2/14: Valentines from grandma

Saturday 2/15: Again with the cute tableaux. The dollhouse as a chair is my VERY FAVORITE.

Sunday 2/16: I like these so much I ate them AS I WAS UNPACKING the rest of my delivery. Perfect with coffee.

Monday 2/17: THESE POST IT NOTES that I must have snagged from my dad's desk a million years ago. They turned up in my desk drawer at work-- because that's how long I have been in my office. (Since 2009, a full decade before my dad would die and where my parents visited me at work, even. They spent a whole week with baby Dorothy is an empty classroom in 2013 so I could train my TAs when she was 5 months old.)

Tuesday 2/18: This book is a funny little gem-- I like it even better than the Thursday Murder books, and I loved those.