Slow Down Saturday: Just one kid

 Last night, we did the weirdest thing. We took ONE SINGLE KID out to dinner. It was so great Basically like taking NO KIDS. I want to go back to 2006 us and tell them that one kid is not hard. But, to be fair, we have never just had a single 5 year-old with totally self-sufficient siblings. Anyway, it was a delight.

Also that is CIDER in those wine glasses, and it is DELICIOUS.

Also also Minnie had a grilled cheese fries, and ice cream-- basically an elevated Culvers experience.

(Jack is visiting his bro; Dorothy was at a bday party, and Cooper went to watch the HS girls sectional dive meet (his club teammates finished one and two and got state bids!)).

5 ona Friday: Opening Lines

 1. This blog:  This Just In: Baby Harry Is Here!

2. My dissertation: In January 1947, the Planned Parenthood Federation of America convened its twenty-sixth annual meeting to tackle what the organization termed “The Parent Problem.”

3. The book I started writing YEARS ago and can't finish: 

4. A poem from 2019

5. Another book I started YEARS ago and didn't finish:

Thoughtful Thursday

 Things on my mind:

SPRING SEMESTER.

I mean, ok, that's just one thing, but IT IS REALLY SO MANY THINGS.

The biggest thing I am obsessing about is a new-to-me class I am teaching-- the first time since 2008, when I didn't exactly teach the class but was a TA for it in grad school (at least until Jack was born when I basically peaced out for the end of the semester).

There are 3 TAs and 240 students. I HAVE A LOT OF PREP TO DO, is what I am saying, you guys.

And plus also! I am teaching my 150-person lecture on 19th-21st century feminist campaigns and revolutions. Yes, this class exists already, but the exams need a facelift in light of the age of AI, and the major assignments do, too,

I spent all day on the new class yesterday, and I like where it's going. BUT IT NEEDS TO GO THERE FAST. I also need to just lock myself in a room for like 12 hours so I can just workworkworkworkwork all at once and not have to keep stopping and reminding myself what the hell I was doing the next time I sit down at my computer.

Did I mention we decorated the yard? Ben is very into my new inflatable obsession. J/K. He hates it.

SUPER MOON

whiny wednesday

•  I slept on the couch the other night because my sleep was in the toilet (**shakes fist at universe**), and OF COURSE I took a couple melatonin 3mg tabs. And then I read THIS

• Minnie had no school Monday and Tuesday, so she worked from home with Ben on Monday and came to campus with me on Tuesday. It was fun and cute (see pics below), but also? THIS IS A REALLY BUSY TIME IN THE SEMESTER and I was unprepared to get so little done. It was on my calendar, but it was most definitely NOT on my radar, if that makes sense.

• We gave Dorothy and Cooper Green Light debit cards and connected them with chores on the GL app, and they are doing their chores (which is super helpful, actually) but then not marking them off on the app, so I have to go in and pay them manually and it's low key driving me batty.

• It's hockey and basketball season, making dropping Cooper off at the pool right next to the place where hockey and basketball games are played FUCKING TERRIBLE. Also all of my terrible drives now happen in the dark (**shakes fist at time change**).

CUTE, THO:

she held up this picture of all of us when Jack was a baby and said "you look like you, but dad looks like a KID"

She had a row to herself

Maybe under the screen was not the best place to play?

Tiny college kid

Time Track Tuesday: A Sunday

 We had a lovely Sunday that's pretty representative of our weekends generally (although this  coming weekend we have a bunch of stuff going on including an out of town dive meet both days).

7am: Minnie came stomping into our room and woke us up. I asked her to turn on my coffee, which she did, and then she asked if we could watch Bob's Burgers-- omg I love that show!

8:30am: Ben and I went for a run

(said goodby to Harry, cleaned up breakfast, colored a Thanksgiving tablecloth with Minnie for a few minutes; ate some oatmeal)

10am-1pm-ish: We did a house refresh and ate lunch

(dog walk; got dressed)

2pm: I went to Marshalls, World Market, Michaels, and Homegoods in search of Thanksgiving table things, and you guys! It was MOSTLY CHRISTMAS! What happened to Thanksgiving?! I also stopped by Target to grab a sweatshirt and a couple of long sleeved dresses for Minnie.

4pm: I raided the kids' Halloween candy to make cookie dough while Ben made dinner

5:30-6:30pm: Dinner and Out of the Loop

6:30-7:30pm: Dinner clean up and actual cookie baking

(dog walk, sitting around, etc)

8-9pm: More Out of the Loop

(shower)

9:45-10:30: Couch rotting with Ben, watched The Chair Company

Muddiest Point Monday

 When I planned my NaBloPoMo this year, I thought I would do Money Monday posts.

But! There are people who suddenly do not have food stamps to feed themselves and their kids, and there are tens of thousands of workers who are newly laid off in time for the holiday season, and my own university is making budget adjustments in the face of fewer federal dollars coming in-- and me complaining about money is just THE WRONG VIBE right now.

Sooooo I think I will just do some sort of alliterative something that's on my mind to start the weeks this month.

And right now? It is Wednesday. Wednesday is the day when the wheels fall off my mental health bus and I turn into someone I wouldn't want to be around.

I gotta figure out how to make Wednesdays easier and more fun.

I think the trouble starts in the early morning hours when I decide not to get up and exercise because I hate getting up in the dark and think I will be in a better mood on Wednesday night if I sleep later and exercise when the kids go to school. I think this might be a false story since I am tired AF at night anyway, and not having those extra 90 or so minutes in the morning makes me feel like I am scrambling to keep up all day.

After school is when the shit really hits the fan, though, because it is our second of three days to do the dance and dive run, and Minnie is sort of over it, which I understand. I am going to try leaving the house earlier to get the big kids so Minnie can play at the park across from their school for 10 or so minutes. See! I am a fun mom! I think she and I also need to listen to audio books in the car again. We listened to the entire Ramona series last year, and I think we will dive into Roald Dahl this year. Books FOR SURE make the car ride more fun, and we should have started listening again before now-- not sure how I forgot about that.

We usually do breakfast for dinner on Wednesday nights, and I see no reason to change this. Last week, I made these and these, and they were such a hit, I think I will do them again. Bonus! We had leftovers for breakfasts for a couple of days.

I also think I need to take a shower earlier in the evening-- maybe before I go pick up Dorothy and her friend at dance. That way I could actually have time to hang out with Jack for a bit?

Wednesday is really hard because when I am exhausted and ready to check out for the night, Cooper comes home from diving and makes (a big, messy) dinner. Then I go get Dorothy, and she eats dinner and also has homework, and it's already 9pm! But! Dorothy and Cooper are both gone for about 12 hours on Wednesdays, so I want them to be able to enjoy themselves for he tiny sliver of time they're home and actually awake, which means I need to not be a shrew, at the very least.

Maybe Jack and I need to watch a fun show every Wednesday night, and maybe I could find a tea I like or something like that to look forward to as a little closing Wednesday night ritual as we veg on the couch.

Another random thing: Ben is taking over lunches for Mondays and Fridays, and we usually do Tuesday lunches together. This is great because I used to do all the lunches (and activity dinners which we pack with lunches, and now we are looking at a more even split, which should help with general overwhelm.

Other thoughts for me? How can I make a long busy day more fun?

Costumes for school

And ToTing

Pic of the Week

 Harry took his baby sister trick or treating, so Ben and I could sit on the driveway with a big old Solo stove fire. We handed out 60 full-size candy bars, plus 40 shots of Fireball and 3 Costco-sized bags of candy. And a box of ring pops. BUSY NIGHT.

(Also all I ate the whole day was Butterfingers and Fireball (lots of both) and YIKES.)

(Also also we hosted seniors in HS, 8th graders and 7th graders the junior highers all over night. YIKES AGAIN).

October: What I Read

 Turns out that listening to scary audio books (even by fave authors) and jogging solo before the sun comes up DO NOT MIX for me, even in a spooky month (especially in a spooky month?). As you can see from the list below, though, I made it work

Skippable

The Bachelorette Party by Camilla Sten: Meh *2025

Such a Good Mom by Julia Spiro: A quick read while Minnie was at gymnastics. *2025

Meditations for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman: I liked him better in his other book and also on Before Breakfast.

The First Gentleman by Bill Clinton and James Patterson: Meh. But a quick and entertaining meh. *2025

Stop me if You've Heard This One by Kristen Arnett: This book needed a better editor. *2025 **Audio

Good Reads

Tranquility by Tuesday by Laura Vanderkam: SO MANY good tips and gentle reframing nudges-- loved this! *Audio

107 Days by Kamala Harris: Read by the author! *2025 **Audio

Don't Let Him In by Lisa Jewell: Her last couple have not satisfied me, but this one was TERRIFIC. Too creepy for early AM exercise listening, though *2025 **Audio

Sharp Force by Patricia Cornwell: This is the 29th Kay Scarpetta book, and I have read EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM, and I am TIRED of Cornwell making up characters from Kay's past to suddenly be prominent in her life. I have known Dr. Scarpetta for THIRTY YEARS and I would remember these GD people if they were really important. Still, it was creepy and well plotted, per usual. *2025 **Audio

Better Reads

Katabasis by RF Kuang: This is my least favorite of hers, but it was still really good. Academia is hell. Noted. **2025 **Kindle

The Impossible Fortune by Richard Osman: The gang is BACK! Loved it. *2025 **Audio

Vera, or Faith by Gary Shteyngart: THIS IS LOVELY and sad and funny-- a weird child narrator, and the author does a pitch perfect job of explaining the world through her eyes. **2025

BOTY Potential

Actress of a Certain Age by Jeff Hiller: Loved him in Somebody Somewhere; loved this book. He reads it, and it is hilarious. *2025 *Audio

Culpability by Bruce Holsinger: THIS IS SO GOOD!! **2025 *Kindle

Wreck by Catherine Newman: The most perfect book about middle age. (Read Sandwich first.) **2025 **Kindle 

The Correspondent by Virginia Evans: OH WOW. I THINK THIS IS THE BOOK OF THE YEAR. **2025 *Kindle

BTM 16

Book books: 5

Kindle books: 4

Audio books: 7

2025 books: 15

BTY 157

Book books: 84

Kindle books: 13

Audio books: 66

2025 books: 103

October Love List

 1. School Pictures

2. Kindergarten, still. 

I volunteered for lunch and recess duty on a Friday, and it was so fun. So many darling kids who needed their coats zipped up ad their cheese sticks opened. Also, the cafeteria was serving the exact kind of bologna and cheese sandwiches my mom used to pack in my lunch and I'd add Fritos to. I walked out to recess with a little girl who was sobbing because she wanted her mom to be there, too, so I asked her if she wanted to play with Minnie and me. Minnie plays a game with 2 friends every recess that they call CRAZY BABY that's basically tag except the person who is being chased screams at the top of their lungs the whole time, and the tagger takes the baby to jail. Minnie tolerated the addition of a new player sort of, but as other kids saw me running around, they, too, asked to play. We soon had 12 kids playing with us, and Minnie hid under a slide and cried because she did not want to share her mom. When Ben picked her up after class that day (I went to campus for a meeting early, ran home for lunch and recess, and went back to campus to observe my TAs-- it was a very busy, hectic day), she said to him Well, recess with mom was awful.

I got to supervise a tissue paper craft during one of my literacy center volunteer days

3. The weather! 

We had weeks of highs in the upper 70s/lower 80s and then! The most delightful, Anne of Green Gables kind of crisp temps and October's bright blue weather at its finest. Sweatshirts and boots and long skirts oh my! (plus jeans and heels-- my fave fall look)

4. Coffee shops               

5. Date nights, specifically for cheese curds and old fashioneds 

6. Variety in my days.

When I do my monthly planning, I start by translating my google calendar into my paper monthly so I can see at a glance what's going on for the month. In October, I was initially horrified to see that I could be on campus 17 working days. That's a TON for me. But! You guys! It turns out that this split was actually really nice. Some days were just a quick pop by for meetings. Others were full days on campus. Sometimes I dashed in to watch a class or two and then went home to work. Some days I packed 3 full meals. And you know what? I actually enjoyed working away from the house more often. And! The days I did get to stay home to work were special. I am happy to have this realization., and I will try to make sure I spilt my time accordingly gong forward, or at least mix things up more than I might otherwise be inclined to do.

(November has a mere fraction of those must-go days on campus, so we'll see if I really make changes...)

Snaps

Dorothy left one of her Scuba sweatshirts in her locker, and you better believe I drove her and Coop to school the next day to make sure it was there and came right home. #MoneyOnMyMind

Annabel, in the Halloween spirit

Leaf walk

Starting early

Hard at work

Having some sartorial issues

Beautiful new building on campus

Ben is SO COOL THO

She's destroying me on the daily at Memory.

Working hard again

(I had a spending post on deck today, but it was utterly tone deaf in the wake of a US government shut down that will see no federal food aid going out 11/1-- which will have ramifications for everyone as subsidies that support pricing structures evaporate. SO, you get random instead.)