Minnie will be eight years old by the time there is a new administration in the White House.
Dorothy will have a learner's permit, and Cooper will be driving a car. Annabel will be rolling into midlife. Jack will be in college. Harry will be almost done with college. Ben and I will be on the cusp of a new decade.
These are happy golden years. Not, say, the good old days with 4 little kids under one roof and Ben and me volunteering in their elementary school classrooms and loose teeth and basements full of single-digit kids and their friends who all thought they were so big and cool but were really all so squishy and silly and darling. BUT STILL. I love being this particular mix of young/old and having big kids and a dose of preschooler with 75% of our parents and 100% of our combined aunts and uncles.
I was on the massage table, knowing that Harry was driving back to his campus and still reeling from breaking news I listened to in the car on the way to the wellness spa wishing I could wake up in like 1400 days, but it was Minnie! The thought of preschool Minnie as Big Kid Minne that made me stop. I want to drink in every single day with her-- she's going to read and tie her shoes and learn to multiply and change out most of her teeth-- and with 4 kids still at home (only 2 more years for that **sob**), before Dorothy and Cooper are too cool for me and Jack flies the coop. These are the days to remember.
Today, we are ok. We have a warm cozy house filled with nutritious food. We have fun plans to look forward to when the kids get home from school. We have work that we love and that fulfills us. We have everything we need and want and are able to help others, too.
(I found the best massage therapist ever and have seen her twice in 2 weeks).
Question: How to be present and shelve worry to enjoy the good that is right in front of me but also not devolve into complete solipsism?
It is so hard to maintain that balance between celebrating the present (and the localized good) with the hard realities both in our lives and in society more generally. I think you'll strike the balance perfectly, Sarah!
ReplyDeleteOuch. That burn looks painful! Hot hair tools scare me (I used to burn myself with my curling iron as a teen, but don't think I've ever burned myself with a straightening iron? Surely I've now jinxed myself!)
What a great perspective. I think this moment of clarity says so much and I believe you will not wish these days away. the parts of my universe that matter the most to me are those that I am deeply connected to, my family. focusing on my people leads to lots of other things feeling less challenging. Maybe I’m too simplistic.
ReplyDeleteSorry about the burn. Ouch. My mom used to curl my hair before school in 3rd grade and if she singed my ear she would make me say “the price of beauty is not cheap.”
My tik-tok teen swears by Vaseline for burns, Sarah--I hope yours heals soon.
ReplyDeleteYes, these are definitely lovely personal years and 47 will not impact them much. I know you will cherish them!! Perhaps doing one small thing every day as a contribution to the general good will help you enjoy your blessings guilt-free?
I strongly recommend using Aquaphor on that burn!
ReplyDeleteI impulse bought a $40 notebook I absolutely don't need from this fun place https://www.semikolon.us/writing/notebooks/?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAkc28BhB0EiwAM001TeFS6JuQ9B4nvJdp_zype2X2aryIfiTDafhX1T7jquz0BhbGI8NKRxoCIYoQAvD_BwE but need to find something besides retail therapy to cope
ReplyDeleteI remember thinking about this in the early days of the pandemic. If I had just known in March 2020 when the pandemic would be over (at least, I wasn't thinking about it daily), I thought it would be better. But it's not better knowing that there's at least four years of this. It's not. That's all.
ReplyDeleteAmen sister. Do not let those motherfuckers steal your joy. Keep fighting the fight (as I know you do politically), and part of that is not letting them steal your joy (because they want us to be scared and miserable, CLEARLY).
ReplyDeleteGreat post, and I like J's comment above. I'm not letting anyone steal my joy! These four years are still precious, no matter what is going on in the world.
ReplyDeleteWe were talking about this at book club today. "They can take away my rights, but they can't take away my joy!" was a constant refrain from a friend that I love. We have to find our own joy during these next four years while still fighting to keep our democracy intact.
ReplyDelete