1. I do not understand jeans these days. First of all, the length. What is happening, and why do we all want to look like Cooper after a growth spurt? I do not understand exactly where they should be hitting me on my ankle and how much of my dorky white tube socks (another thing I obviously do not understand) should be showing. And! Another thing! Why are they so tight in the tummy and baggy in the legs, and how can I make this cut flatter me? Maybe I cannot?
2. I cannot EVER drink ANYTHING with caffeine after 10 am EVER AGAIN. And yet! I ALWAYS think a post-lunch coffee will be a good idea. IT NEVER IS. (Literally you guys it is 2?55 pm on Thursday and I am DRINKING COFFEE my goodness will I ever learn?)
3. I suddenly have, um, A LOT of facial hair. WHISKERS YOU GUYS. WHISKERS. I bleached them and then went for a massage so I have ZERO MAKEUP on in this pic, but MUCHO whiskers and chicken neck.
4. Is there anything more old lady than jazzing up a salad kit for taco Tuesday? My mom used to say "doctoring up."
5. Walking the dog in this fit when the sun rises early enough for the whole neighborhood to see.
Well, I can see you and raise you for numbers 1-3.
ReplyDelete1) I am now "who cares" old because I am just wearing the jeans I bought from Marks that advertise as comfortable fit and advertise no more muffin top. I'm still wearing skinny jeans when I wear tall boots, and then I'm cuffing "boyfriend" jeans when I wear ankle boots. Is this fashionable, no, but it's what I'm doing.
2) Same. Although it's 4:38 right now and I'm already on my second cup, so I guess it's just a shift of consumption.
3) I have a "daylight" 10x magnifying mirror that I use daily to pluck out actual whiskers from my chin. It's weird that I have grey hair but the chin whiskers are thick and black. Why isn't that on my head? I guess my chin is my head but you understand.
I will not give up on my skinny jeans! You would have to buy them out of my cold, dead hands. Lol. I cannot handle the flared leg or wide leg trend. There are so few people that it is flattering on in my opinion!
ReplyDeleteI can’t have coffee after noon! It seems to impact me more than having a Coke zero so if I’m really feeling tired, I’ll have a Coke zero but no later than 2 PM!
Get a prescription retinol from your dermatologist and put it on your neck! I swear my "tech neck" lines are vanishing. The skin is thicker so you can use it more frequently than on your face. I use it on the back of my hands, too.
ReplyDeleteHa ha, like Nicole, I am now "who cares" old. BUT. What is the deal with facial hair. If i'm going to grow more hair, why can't it be on my head??????
ReplyDeleteJeans- I've given up. They don't make them to fit my body.
All of this is me too...
ReplyDeleteI do not understand the current jeans trend at all and have just decided I'm not going to give in and stay with my skinnies. So I guess people can clock me as an old from a distance. And I've always had facial hair and my sleep has been fucked for a while. I guess this is the rest of my life?
I roll out of bed and walk the dog in whatever I'm wearing. It doesn't matter now because I'm wearing a hat, but I don't brush my hair before I leave the house in in non-hat seasons, either. The neighbors get what they get and they're lucky that I'm walking my dog at all so she's not the crazy neighborhood dog.
ReplyDeleteI own one pair of jeans. One. They're boot cut and never shall my ankles ever be seen in public. I'm so excited that the day that women were expected to have a line of skin showing between socks and jeans in freezing temps is over. (I have never had that line of skin because I am a lady who wears mostly knee-high socks. I am COLD.)
Whiskers . . . UFDAH! I don't travel anywhere without tweezers & a tiny magnifying mirror, because if I feel one of those buggers (any time, any place) it has to come out NOW!! Pretty sure I get this obsession from my mum. She was laying in ICU the day after BRAIN SURGERY for a burst blood vessel and all she would do was cry because there was a whisker on her chin. I made a special trip to the Walmart to get some tweezers and dispatch that damn whisker. Unconditional love is pulling your mum's chin whiskers when she can't. Better start teaching the kids.
ReplyDeleteJust a few days ago at a thrift shop I bought a pair of jeans that are the new trendy baggy high-rise style because my daughter has been BEGGING me to be "more cool". I will admit they are very comfortable but what an odd fit. *Shrug*
ReplyDeleteSkinny jeans look pretty awful on me because I have a small waist but pretty enormous hips and thighs. I love the look of skinny jeans on other people, but I look...weird...in them. Flares look equally bad. I basically have to stick with boot cut.
Yes, WHY are the kids these days wearing "mom jeans" (I think that's what the baggy leg / tight waist style is called?) when they are not actually mothers, and when all the actual mothers are wearing things that flatter human bodies? My own mother still wears mom jeans and has been proudly wearing them since 1989, so while she does not look cool at least I admire her perseverance.
ReplyDeleteAt least the mom jeans are mostly all in one piece? I never understood the appeal of the distressed jeans. I do not wear cool jeans- I buy whatever fits me in the thrift store, so I'm running a decade or so behind the times. It doesn't matter- I love being over 40 because I wear what I want and don't care about other opinions. As for whiskers, I always seem to see them when driving in the review mirror and never in the bathroom.
ReplyDeleteMy caffeine consumption is such that I can drink it at any point in the day. It helps me stay awake and relax. One of these years, I do plan to decaffeinate, but this is not that year.
Jazzing up a salad kit is not old lady - it's fashionably frugal! Nutritious and time saving.
Coach and I went out to dinner tonight and I wore skinny jeans, but I was hesitant because ARE THEY OUT? I really don’t have a lot of pants to choose from and I do not understand jeans and the weird lengths either. I’m tall so I am already paranoid about wearing floods. I don’t drink coffee and stay away from caffeine in general as I don’t like how it makes me feel, but you drinking coffee when you shouldn’t is maybe the equivalent of me eating ice cream right before bed. Maybe different issues, but still ISSUE. Its hell to get old.
ReplyDeleteBoot leg or straight leg jeans look best on me. My ass and thighs are too big, skinny jeans make me look like an ice cream cone, and not in a good way. But todays look, I think looks good on no one. It looks less bad on the young and skinny, but still not good.
ReplyDeleteI've taken to shaving my chin with my razor in the shower, because I can't see the hairs well enough to pluck even in the lighted magnified mirror. See what you have to look forward to when you get to be my age?