I checked a few boxes in March:
Book-- Elphie: A Wicked Childhood
Albums: Lady Gaga Mayhem; Mumford & Sons Rushmere; Japanese Breakfast For Melancholy Brunettes
Cookies: Soft and chewy oatmeal chip (5/25)
New-to-me restaurant: Butterbird
Date night: SAME
Donations: We got a haul from Dorothy's room, Minnie's room, the small storage room, and the family room, bringing us to 9/25 loads to St. Vinny's.BUT. I did no yoga and no writing. I also did not wear my weighted vest (but I am back on that bullshit for April).
I applied for a new job in February, got it, and then got a surprise retention offer from my current job, so that took A TON of my mental energy and also my time. And! It was a really long process and completely derailed my writing flow, which I just haven't been able to re-establish.
Also! Politics CRUSHED and preoccupied me in March.
And (related?) my anxiety and menopause symptoms are off the charts. You might remember that I was prescribed anti anxiety meds, yes? Well, it turns out, I AM TOO ANXIOUS TO TAKE THEM because I worry about side effects and that they would just mask other, more serious problems. TOO ANXIOUS AND WORRIED TO TAKE THE MEDS THAT ARE FOR MY WORRY AND ANXIETY. This is where I live now. I am sleeping like shit. Having hot flashes ALL DAY (and night), gaining weight, feeling unshakable DREAD-- all of the things.
So. APRIL And all of the new month energy. I am going to BANISH MARCH''S BAGGAGE.
First of all, I am on the waitlist for a menopause clinic that sounds amazing (it is through a different HMO, so I did not realize I could use it, but I can!!) and I have an OB appointment to be treated for my yucky menopause symptoms next week. (An estrogen bath would be perfect, thanks).
Second, I am doing the Cool Blogger Walking Club (have been doing it since we got Annabel, actually), wearing my vest, and upping my cardio this month-- I really could use the endorphins.
Third, I am going to get back into spending tracking-- I slacked on this the second other stressors entered the chat.
Q2 goal: Clean out our large storage room and convert it into a 6th bedroom-- this one is really exciting!!!
I’m sorry to hear about your anxiety and sleep being bad. Hopefully April is a better month.
ReplyDeleteAnnabel is a super cute member of the walking club.
Good luck with the menopause clinic. That sounds absolutely dreadful, Sarah, I'm sorry. What did you do about your job, are you staying put?
ReplyDeleteI hope you can find the right combination of meds, etc. To cope with your health issues- they sound very non-fun. ( I have only baby hot flashes, which are bad enough; I can't imagine how bad round the clock ones are.)
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on getting a job offer and a counter offer!
Isn't being a woman such a fun rollercoaster ride. SIGH. I have been having night sweats and HATE it.
ReplyDeleteYay for outdoor walks <3
I feel like my menopause symptoms started with night sweats and now I'm having more day time hot flashes. I don't rank my symptoms as horrible, and I'm counting my lucky stars. I'm excited about the 6th bedroom. Super jealous over here in our 4 bedroom home - (can't give up the first floor study that COULD be a bedroom). When we did our addition, they gave us the option of making a room under it vs ANOTHER DUMB crawlspace and we didn't have the time or financial handle on whether or not to flip the switch on that one, so we passed it up. Mistake.
ReplyDeleteI'm curious about the job . . . was the new job at the same college? Were you thinking of relocating to where Ben is? Did you decide to stick with your current position?
Maybe April weather will help your workout goals.
I recommend reading What your doctor did not tell you about menopause by John R. Lee and Virginia Hopkins for help with menopause symptoms. All the best as I started pre-menopause this year and not looking forward to what lies ahead.
ReplyDeleteI want to know if you took the new job or accepted the retention offer? It's nice to feel wanted but job negotiations are stressful!
ReplyDeleteI have been on anxiety meds since 2015 (Lexapro) and they have been a Godsend. I tried to go off them at one point which was a disaster. So I encourage you to take the meds. They should help! The side effects vary from drug to drug, but being anxious is not good for our bodies!
Yes- endorphins. As many as possible! This all sounds very difficult. Maybe you should re-think the anxiety meds? I know they help a lot of people. If you think they're giving you side effects, you can always stop taking them.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could recommend a news fast, but I tried that and it just didn't work. All sorts of things creep in anyway, and then you really have to figure out what's going on. So... yeah. Sigh.
I could maybe get a date night going with my husband if he was ever in the freaking country.
ReplyDeleteTAKE THE ANXIETY MEDS. Just force yourself and then they'll kick in and you won't be anxious about the anxiety meds anymore.
Yeah, about the tracking spending - there are only so many balls you can juggle at once.
I’m sorry that you’re so anxious right now. I am excited for the 6th bedroom! And like everyone else, I want to know what you decided about the job situation. Whatever it is, I hope it makes you happy and brings more money.
ReplyDeleteDogs are the best for getting us walking, aren’t they? <3
I can relate to the too anxious to take anxiety meds. I have two different prescriptions in my underwear drawer. It took me months to even pick them up. That being said, perimenopause sleep is also for the damn birds. I got 5 hours of sleep the other night and felt amazing. That's sad. You aren't alone in your struggles but I am sorry. This phase of life sucks.
ReplyDeleteIf you're a good candidate, I cannot recommend enough using an estrogen patch and progesterone. I started almost two years ago when perimenopause began with night sweats, terrible sleep, and irregular periods. It has done wonders for my sleep, anxiety, brain fog, energy! I feel like myself again. Hope you get some relief soon! I started first with the online clinic Midi and then talked it over with my new OB-GYN who was very supportive of using HRT.
ReplyDeleteOh friend! Please take the meds! They will help - and if they don't help, there are more options! Are you doing talk therapy, too? Talk therapy + meds are typically the combo necessary for anxiety conditions.
ReplyDeleteI'm also curious what happened with the job. What did you apply for and are you staying with your current position?