5 on a Friday: boy am I a sucker for kids

 Man, I am lucky that I didn't end up with more than 5 kids (lucky only because I don't think I could afford more than 5 kids-- CAN I REALLY EVEN AFFORD FIVE?) because I LOVE KIDS SO MUCH, Perhaps I should quit my job and become a preschool teacher. Anyway, here are 5 ways I know I am a sucker for kids.

1. No matter how stressful the morning was, as soon as I drop them all off and am settling down to do some work, I spend at least 5 minutes looking at pictures I took of them during that stressful morning and thinking how cute they are.

this outfit tho YOU GUYS

2. Ditto NIGHT TIME. Like I can be SO OVER EVERYONE and the entire world and think I might explode if I have to listen to one more voice tell me one more thing and then! As soon as I tuck them in bed, I am nostalgic for the day that I am still living and as soon as they are asleep, I start basically stalking them and thinking how darling they are. Last night, during this time, Annabel snuck into Dorothy's room and then woke her up, and neither one wanted to be parted overnight, but they were parted because one of them pees in the other one's room. I will let you figure out who is who in this scenario.

3. They are my style inspos

4. And, conversely, I  shamelessly project my own style on them 

literally my sweatshirt, also my fave hair style. and I have that same purse.

5. I don't really have a number five except for you know, like, sacrificing all of my potential and ambition to wait on them hand and foot for the last 18 years, but that's not a snappy little bullet point, and plus also, every mom does that, so it's not special, and anyway they pay me back by letting me link their library cards to my Libby account and place dozens of hlds at once, so there's that.

In closing-- this is what Jack wore to take out the trash in negative 5 degree weather:

it's the mittens for me.

F.I.G.s 2/11-2/18

 Tuesday, 2/11: A second double-batch of cookie dough in 5 days. How long will this one last? And also, how lucky am I to have such a simple, joyful way to take care of everyone?

Wednesday, 2/12: Our own snow day

Thursday, 2/13: Minnie's 4.5 birthday

Friday 2/14: Valentines from grandma

Saturday 2/15: Again with the cute tableaux. The dollhouse as a chair is my VERY FAVORITE.

Sunday 2/16: I like these so much I ate them AS I WAS UNPACKING the rest of my delivery. Perfect with coffee.

Monday 2/17: THESE POST IT NOTES that I must have snagged from my dad's desk a million years ago. They turned up in my desk drawer at work-- because that's how long I have been in my office. (Since 2009, a full decade before my dad would die and where my parents visited me at work, even. They spent a whole week with baby Dorothy is an empty classroom in 2013 so I could train my TAs when she was 5 months old.)

Tuesday 2/18: This book is a funny little gem-- I like it even better than the Thursday Murder books, and I loved those.

Lemons that I will NOT be using for lemonade

 OK. Like for real. I know that my hair looks terrible UNLESS I blow dry my bangs before I go to bed. AND YET. I keep NOT DOING THAT and looking DUMB. Like the other day when I had to film a video for social media for my class that I direct. AND HAD TERRIBLE HAIR and also was wearing beige and had 14 chins. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. (I do not love it. Opposite, in fact).

Dorothy needs white Air Force 1's for her trio and a group dance and black Air Force 1's for her other hip hop group dance. NEAT-O. I love buying $90 shoes, so why not need 2 of the same ones in different colors? Love that for me. I was talking to a colleague about dance team (they also have a kid at the same studio) and we were trying to figure out why this very expensive and kind of nit-picky activity is so compelling for us (BECAUSE IT IS! IT'S SO FUN!). (We had to order SPECIFIC lipsticks as well-- different colors for different dances and maybe it's these details that I love the most?)

IT IS SO COLD THAT SCHOOL WAS ALMOST CANCELLED TODAY. 

I am Team Winter, but YIKES. Negative 13 for Annabel's dog walk. (Naturally Dorothy and Coop got cold drinks when I drove them to school so they wouldn't have to wait for the bus)

AIRPLANES KEEP FALLING OUT OF THE SKY. Is anyone else freaked out about this?

Money Monday: It's all just complaining at this point.

Look! I am so strong I can hold $200 worth of groceries IN ONE HAND

 

Dinners last week:

Sunday 2/9:  Tacos and brownies for the super bowl. Only I rushed to get the brownies out of the oven so I could have time to finish my book AND take a nap while Ben had the kids at The Wonders of Physics on campus, and the brownies were not actually cooked. I ate one for a sundae base anyway, but Coop had a friend over, and I did not want to poison someone else's kid, so the children had ice cream cookie sandwiches with THESE cookies (I made a double batch on Saturday when I was forecasting our day to Minnie, and she said "DO WE HAVE TIME TO ALSO BAKE A YUMMY TREAT?" and we always do. 

Leftovers: Salad greens and cut up taco veggies, beef taco meat, shredded chicken. I ate some for lunch on Monday, and so did Ben.

Monday 2/10: Pasta casserole with WF store-brand kale caesar salad and crusty bread.

Leftovers: ALL OF IT especially since Ben forgot to serve the slad or bread. We had tons of lunches, plus leftover bread for Sunday morning french toast

Tuesday 2/11: Instead of going out, I made sandwiches for me and Dorothy and Minnie in an afternoon lull and made sure we had cut up veggies and fresh fruit ready to go on the side. We ate fast (and pretty neatly!) before dance.

Wednesday 2/12: We had our very own snow day because I was shocked at how terrible the roads were at preschool pick up time, so I picked everyone up early because yikes. I also swung by Target and spent $80 on... I don't really know. Candy, ice cream, birthday cake stuff. We had frozen pizza and garbage-- it was pretty great. (I also spent $70 on annabel's food at Pet Smart).

Thursday 2/13: Chicken, baked potatoes, and kale caesar salad (that we forgot to eat on Monday -- winner!)

Friday 2/14: Snow again. Papa Murphy's pizza and cookie (in a heart, natch) for the kids for $30 and sushi and champs for us for $175. I also took Dorothy and Coop out for a SIXTY FIVE DOLLAR breakfast. $20/head for breakfast seems high to me?

Saturday 2/15: Enchiladas, chips and salsa. Jack was at the closing night of his show, and the little kids don't like enchiladas (eye roll), so they had breakfast for dinner (scrambled eggs, pancakes, turkey sausage, fruit), and Ben and I ate ours after they went to bed, with Veuve. 

Soooooo, that's $550 for Sunday groceries, plus $50 at Target (a bit of the total was for Vday presents for Min because the dance stuff I ordered said it wouldn't be here in time but then it WAS, so that became a 1/2 bday gift LOL), plus $270 for vday. UM YOU GUYS. THAT IS EIGHT HUNDRED SEVENTY FOOD DOLLARS. Um. (plus the Veuve).

We have a lot of spinach and bananas to eat in the next like 36 hours before they liquify as well. **yikes face**

Also I ordered groceries for this coming week in bed trying to stay up to make sure Jack got home OK, so I have NO IDEA WHAT I GOT. Should be fine. LOL LOL LOL.

5 on a Friday: Dumb things I bought this week

 1. This water bottle for Dorothy for vday. WHERE WILL SHE LOSE IT? I wish I already knew.

2. Ugg Tasmans for Coop who will wear them for a month or two, put them away for warm weather, and never be able to wear them again.

3. THIS BOOK!! The exact same version I read and loved as a kid. Only dumb because Dorothy basically hates every book I ever suggest on principle. I guess I will read it myself?

4-5. This tutu and matching bear for Minnie because she has a drawer full of dance clothes and a bin bursting with stuffies and she says she doesn't even want to do dance next year BUT IAM ONLY HUMAN YOU GUYSSSSS (I bought a leo that Dorothy kind of hates and a really expensive for what it is ballet sweater for Dorothy in the same order. SO THE WHOLE ORDER WAS DUMB, and I KNOW IT).

Passive aggression-- I guess it IS kind of cute.

 Minnie has picked up this terribly annoying habit of asking for things in the world's most passive aggressive manner. She'll clasp her fat little hands together under her chin so she looks just like a Hummel figurine and say something like, "Oh I wish I could have a piece of toast," or "Oh I wish someone could change the TV channel for me," or "Oh I wish I had someone to play Candyland with." I think a kid at school talk like this? Or she watches so much TV she thinks it would be cute? Upon seeing me dressed for work, she said, "Oh I wish I could wear that beautiful necklace." I was all well you can't because I am wearing it, but maybe you could ask to borrow it tomorrow.  JUST BE A PROBLEM SOLVER, MAN! Is what I want to say.

She waited a whole day to wear this:

She was eating a chocolate chip cookie on the way to school because she took her antibiotic with no complaints (let's not unpack all the parenting fails in that one little sentence ok??), and not only did she say as she helped herself to the cookie, "Oh no. There's only one cookie left in here. I wonder who will eat it tomorrow," but she dropped the cookie as I was backing out of the garage and said, "Maybe when we get to school, you will be able to pick up my cookie, and I can eat it some other time."

SO PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE MY GOD. I stopped the car, hopped out, and got the cookie. BUT SERIOUSLY. JUST ASK ME NEXT TIME.

FIGS 2/1-2/10

Elisabeth is running a FIG Collective this month, encouraging readers to find joy in gratitude, and I have to tell you, I have resisted. I am too anxious and angry to be bothered with JOY or GRATITUDE, darn it. Erm. I am sure you see the error there, as I finally did, too, when the doom scrolling caught up with me this afternoon.

Sooooooo, I decided to comb through the pictures I have taken this month and find the glimmers that peek out from all this darkness 

Here's what I have:

 2/1 Saturday: This tableau I found when I went to put Minnie's laundry away

2/2 Sunday: Furniture shopping with 2 very helpful helpers and a Whole Foods trip with my favorite shopper.

2/3 Monday: I snagged a great book from a Little Free Library in the campus library foyer and read it while watching my favorite diver.

2/4 Tuesday: Preschool Valentines

2/5 Wednesday: Quiet breakfast with my newspaper and a platonic apple

 2/6 Thursday: Fancy grown up clothes

2/7 Friday: A quiet afternoon with Annabel

2/8 Saturday: A prolific artist

2/9 Sunday: An 11 year-old who can put on her own false eyelashes. BRING IT, DANCE SEASON.

2/10 Monday: Excellent lunch time reading

Money Monday: save some/waste some

tell me you forgot baking powder or soda without telling me

 

Gah.

This past week was SPENDY, and I was in a funk, so I thought buying stuff would make me feel better, but actually? I just felt worse because I also felt guilty about buying so much trash. (MOAR Sol de Janeiro for D -- twice in one week-- two different scents--and a Touchland for M for no reason, plus one of those heatless curler things, expensive shampoo, hair ties-- basically we just stopped at Ulta randomly twice last week because we were grumpy. Also new leotards and a ballet sweater. A random $40 water bottle for D (will save for V-day, I think), Nike Tech pants for Coop because I got tired of seeing him in the same 2 pairs and thought another one would make me feel better... the list goes on and on. Also! Dinner out for me because I was too lazy to pack, dinner out for the girls for a similar reason-- just crap upon crap. I even went out for coffee twice, something I haven't been doing at all. 2 new pairs of pretty pointless (but also pretty, pointy) high heels. And Ben and Coop were gone for the weekend. And groceries flirted with $600 this week because I just bought weird pricey stuff from 3 different stores. But not new leggings for myself or anything, like, worthwhile, you know???? GAH.

In terms of food waste, I made a few positive strides. We had spaghetti and meatballs and used the leftovers for both meatball sandwiches and pizza bread. We made a bunch of grilled chicken and baked potatoes and ate them for many lunches. I ate a giant 16 oz clamshell of spinach basically BY MYSELF last week.

But then! When I cleaned out the fridge in advance of Kroger and Costco deliveries, I tossed out 2 expired Two Good yogurts and 2 Yoplaits, 1/3 of a bag of desiccated baby carrots, some elderly sour cream, apple cider that was clearly alcoholic by now, jalapeno hummus that had barely been dipped in, blueberry bagels and strawberry cream cheese leftover from when Harry was home, some chicken broth just past its prime.

This week, we are going to me even more strategic about how we eat our fresh food, I swear.

Also!! This is the second week in a row that I have been unable to get a Whole Foods delivery or pick up slot all weekend and have had to GO TO THE FREAKING STORE and buy my groceries. And! My online cart was only $115, but when I went to the store? TWO TWENTY-FIVE because impulse buy is my middle name.

5 on a Friday: Things I Heart

 YOU GUYS. Ben also got Strep and Flu-A. WHAT THE WHAT? And now! He and Cooper are off to Minnesota for a dive meet (Dorothy has dance rehearsals all day Saturday, so we could not go with) and will probably get snowed in at about the exact second strep, flu, and RSV hit me. #itfigures #patriarchy

ANYWAY. Onto 5 things I love this week:

1. THIS hand sanitizer. You can also use it as a hair refresher, and I love the smell. Dorothy has the watermelon onne and also likes it a lot. I am kind of obsessed and will definitely be buying these for basically every purse.

2. THIS podcast episode. Lowered my blood pressure for a hot second anyway.

3. THIS series on audiobook. YOU GUYS. DRAGONS. AND SMUT. BUT NOT DRAGON SMUT (don't google that).

4. Annabel's really really awkward groom

5. MINNIE'S TAP COSTUME.

Bonus: Cows who have been blown dry. (Their feet and legs don't NOT look like Annabel's)

Bedroom makeover-- not a terrible distraction.

Minnie!! HAS STREP AND RSV AGAIN!!!! She got swabbed for everything last week on Tuesday (EXACTLY A WEEK AGO) and was NEGATIVE and then was fine on Wednesday, sick again Thursday, fine Friday, Saturday, and Sunday-day. But Sunday night at bedtime, she said her throat hurt when she swallowed, and Ben took her to the doctor Monday afternoon: positive rsv and strep tests**sob**

 

Dorothy asked me to make a double recipe of THESE for a school project, and I have TONS AND TONS of leftover custard and buttercream (mixed together into the most indulgent mess of frosting I have EVER EVEN TASTED). I think I am going to use the rest in eclairs? Or maybe chocolate cupcakes? With fudge frosting? All of this-- the cupcakes themselves and the leftover recipes-- are a ridiculous use of eggs, but I am sitting on SEVEN DOZEN because I am a panic buyer, so... (I blame the NO FOOD WASTE FEBRUARY for my need to use up the rest of the custard/frosting).

2025 status symbol: CUSTARD

I washed my dirty little sentient mop this weekend, and then I immediately booked her a grooming appointment for a bang trim and to have her nails done because honestly? She kind of grosses me out when she's wet, and I think someone else should wash her.

We shopped all weekend for furniture for Dorothy's bedroom because she wants a bedroom makeover for her 12th birthday (SHE IS GOING TO BE TWELVE NEXT MONTH AND WHAT?!?!?! I feel like THIS DAY JUST HAPPENED. My dad dressed all 3 boys in their matching big bro outfits and had them waiting for Ben to come home and bring them to meet their new sister, and that's just so sweet). I hate furniture shopping with Ben because he is SO SLOOOOOOW to make up his mind, and I could drop 4500 for a basement skee ball table in NO TIME. (We bought nothing). (Dorothy said she just wants an 86-inch TV and a sleeping bag LOL). 

She needs a new bed (unsure whether Minnie will get her old bed or a new bed herself because the IKEA one hasn't held up great, but would get replacement slats and hardware, which would go a long way. Minnie also needs a new bookshelf because hers is technically a changing table), and Dorothy needs a new nightstand. She also deeply wants a makeup vanity with a stool and a cute chair for reading. HER ROOM IS VERY SMALL. Also, we will paint, buy stuff for the walls, etc etc etc.

I am sold on this Costco daybed for both girls

I tried to talk Dorothy into this Costco fold-up vanity (we saw another slightly bigger version at a furniture store, too)

But she wants something silly with lots of lights, even if it means she won't have room for a cozy chair. Ben doesn't know if he wants to buy something from Wayfair or a similar place that will require assembly or of he wants to buy whatever big gaudy thing our local furniture stores have in stock.

Minnie is getting this bookshelf though because I mean seriously

Dorothy and I walked around At Home so she could show me her vibe (she says coquette as inspired by the Loveshack Fancy collection at Pottery Barn Kids), and I found a hilarious picture of a flamingo in a gilded frame that I am using as a starting point. (Mentally. I bought nothing).

Anybody bought a vanity lately that they love?